11:59 PM Sunday, May 25, 2008 back to top?

• Dear Diary,

Ever wonder what it is like to have a very sweet dream? Hees. ;D
People wished me 'Sweet Dream' in the night to me.
But rarely, sweet dreams doesnt really come true-when im asleep.

-UNTIL TODAY! :D

The dream goes like this.
Somehow, when i think about it, some stuffs doesnt makes sense.
Like, how when in a dream, you believe that everything in there is all real.
But however when youre back into reality, the thought of some events doesnt make any logical sense.
Thereby, some stuffs, i will skip. Haha. But i'll keep it entertaining! ;D

So i was dreaming of a person. Hehs. And it was R.
I dont know how this person suddenly appeared in my sleep/dream. And yea..

So the story goes like this. I was told by my parents to go search for my brother and cousins down my block. So i had no choice but to obey.
So while i was on my corridor. Suddenly there was this person who came out from my house. -i guess at that time, my house was having an event(party/majlis etc).

That person, who is R, then offered to help me find them.
So yea.. I agreed.
And so we walked together, towards the staircase.

Then somehow, on the way to the staircase, our hands suddenly brushed each other. And in a moment that hands became a hold. We were walking side by side while holding each others hand.
If you're thinking why didnt i or he let go... Well.. I dont know. Probably some part of me do not want to break the hold.
And also, both hands were really strong holding each other,
as if we dont wanna let go of it (; Haha.

-PS, on the way, i saw Akhbar-that madrasah friend of mine-still i pretended to not let him see me. Lols. How the heck he got into my dream, i also dont know. Haha.

So anyway, with that touch we finally went down the stairs. (It seems that the journey towards the staircase is long eh? Haha. Well, the journey down the staircase is also long.)
Walking down the stairs, somehow, there was this girl whom at that time(in my dream) i thought of her as R's friend.
That girl too walk with us.

But then, that girl, it seems as if she wanted to break us apart. Still both of us held each other tight.
She was rushing me and pulling me to go down the staircase faster... So that our hold would break.

And then YES! The hand hold finally break apart.
It seems as if i was falling down the stairs looking up towards R.
And I found myself reaching out my hand to him, wanting him to catch me...
**The most amazing part is....
He got hold of my hand before i fall down! *Awww... ^^ hehe*

Finally, we got down the stairs. And that girl was still on the staircase.
I asked R a question, asking him, who is that girl?
He replied, Haha. I wont tell you. He laughed.
And I got kinda fed up, thinking to myself, "Whatever, if you dont wanna tell me, FINE by me. Hmmph." -i guess, during that time i was thinking about it, the reason why i dont wanna probe on the matter much was because, R isnt anything special to me(just a friend/maybe a special friend(or person)/but not more than that). As, it isnt my right to know whoever that girl is to him, thats why. Hees.

So in the end, ive finally found my brother and cousins. Then i saw my family and there was this handphone which my father wants me to do something with it. Then i did it.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, there were a lot of people surrounding me.
And ive just remember about R, being there with me.

But as i turn around, R wasnt with me anymore.
*behind the scene*-While i was busy doing the hp thing and i was surrounded by people...
R secretly, step by step, MENGUNDURKAN DIRI dari situ. He left me there.

Back to where i was. When i saw that he isnt there anymore...
Honestly, i actually kinda felt sad about it.
But then still, somehow, i was glad about the things which have happened with both of us-the holding hands as well as him accompanying me.
So then, in my heart, i said to myself, "Thank you, R".

And then i remembered about this malay essay ive onced wrote,
"Mungkin jika takdir mengizinkan, kita akan berjumpa lagi di ruang yang lain...." (:

Hehe. I'll end here.

Ada alamat ke pe? Haha. I dont know...
It was a great dream, to me.
But if you say, whether its gonna be in a reality...
Well, i dont know. Maybe yes, maybe not?
HEES~~ ;D

~`Cause to me, its just a dream. A very sweet dream.

5:25 PM back to top?

• Dear Diary,

Had madrasah today. The second day of exam.
Well.. The exams were pretty alright. HEHS. Can do.
Ustazah Salbiah kata, "Banyak orang pass Fiqh.. Ada jugak yang pass tinggi-tinggi. (haha) Ini bermakna awak semua ni dah pandai, dah boleh kahwin lah ni." Hahaha. :DD

On the way home, at Masjid Kassim's bus stop.
I gave Zunairah's her present. Supposedly it was last week we(including Herani & Nadiah) should give. Her birthday was on May 17. Belated..
She was happy and glad with the present.
The present was a Famous Amos Cookie and this teddy bear keychain.

And you know something which makes me happy...
Zunairah said.. "Awww, asyura soo sweet (the teddy bear key chain)." haha ^^

Honestly, that key chain was from both me and Nadiah. HEHS.
Also i have that same keychain which i also bought for a person but i didnt give her. Hehs.
I was debating to myself whether should i give to Herani or not? And also the Zunairah's keychain isnt actually from me, it was from me and Nadiah.
So yea... See the conflict? HAHA.

So anyway, i was like in my heart... "Ahhh... Never mind lah. I give this another teddy bear keychain to Herani!! As a token of friendship. HEHE :D"
*Give to herani-keychain*. "Aww.. Asyura..", Herani said.
Adding on, " Nanti kan apabila aku tengok ni teddy bear ni, aku akan fikir tentang kau Asyura."
HAHA. Weeesss~~~ *dance: twist and turn* (:

I told both of them that it was a token of friendship.
Our persahabatan that have been going on for these past years. Hehe.
Too bad, that i dont have another keychain the same for me. Heh. Never mind.
Im happy as long as i give them that. ;D

Then Herani mentioned that she wished for us to still stay as good friends even though Madrasah this year will be our last time. Hees~
And she said, she would rather choose her Madrasah's friend than her School's friend.
Wahhh T.T
Then Zunairah too, got expressed her concern.
She expressed that she's scared of what will happen to the future with our friendship. Will it be the same as before or will it change? Hehh.

All 3 of us agreed that we dont want our friendship to be renggang in the upcoming future.
So yea.. that shows that this friendship is treasured! ((:

Thank you, dear friends.

3:15 PM Friday, May 23, 2008 back to top?

• Dear Diary,

Finally my mp3 is feeling a lot better. -.-" -mp3 dont have feelings, asyura. Haha.
Let me rephrase this, Finally my mp3 is updated with new songs. Its not bored as before. haha. LAME la.

Today, well...
I realised that im not feeling energetic, happy and smiling.
No mood i guess. Hahs.

Honestly, my face was sooo STONE!! Like this; '__' or this -__- .
Maybe some stuffs dampened my mood. Hehh.

End of Semester 2 today.
Supposedly finished school at 10.30am. But then, that Ms Shawa came to class late.
And after that, i and some of my classmate went with her to staff room for O level verification slip.

I guessed, Nadiah was pissed with me though. HAHA. For taking that slip, since she probably malas nak tunggu and so long waiting for teacher to come out.
Yea... I do understand her. And also i was like in my mind, "Whatever..." when she went off first.
We wanted to go Mc Donald after school though. And i was thinking at that time when she left, "Ahh... Im going alone. Oh well... *-_-*".

After i got that slip, went to bus stop. Wanted to message her, then suddenly she message me.
We went to Mc together. On the way, we actually wanted to go to Tampines. But then waiting for the bus is super slowww and sian, then we decided to go to Bedok.
-Cant wait anymore~~

Then in there, the queue was longggg and slowwww..
And i grew irritated with it as well as being impatient about it.
Still i perservered. -too bad, i missed the morning meal time.
Oh well... At least i got my food. Was hungryyy~~

Nadiah went off first. While i stayed drinking my coke. -_-
Before she left, she asked, "You ok or not here? Or you want me to stay with you?" haha.
Then i say, "Ya ok. You go lah...", since she gotta go meet Syahindah.
Anyway, i also dont mind staying there alone. Also some part of me feels like dont wanna go home and feeling kind of wanna be by myself. -emo much? -.^ lols.

Headed off to Bedok Library. Stayed for around 1 hour plus.
Didnt borrowed any books. Since there isnt any books which caught my eye -uninteresting! ):

Went home after that. Walk with a bored and tired face. That same face; '_' and/or -_-
Inside the bus, listened to my mp3 as i closed my eyes listening to the songs.
HAHA. Tired, perhaps. (:

Feeling that life's a bit crappy during most of the time today~~~

-_____- zzzZZZzz...

11:27 PM Tuesday, May 20, 2008 back to top?

• Dear Diary,

Its pretty weird how i will either be great or bad in a conversation. Haha.

Hmm..
Maybe-i realised that- whenever im thinking of ways to start a conversation, i find that its not going very well as expected. HAHS!
While on the other hand, when im not thinking of it, the conversation went quite smoothly. LOLS
Blergghhh..

-gotta let loose! -__-

Geog project is really fcuked up. Dateline is over.
Still im doing my best to finish it-yet.

Funny, how i can finish those 4 points that should be included in that report with little information provided in just 1 hour! Hehs.
That goes to show, if i think hard enough i can really do it. Also it is probably due to time constraint, that my brain work at its hardest! Haha :D

A conversation i had just now was:
Person: You not bored ke?
Me : Yes! Very bored -__-
Person: Haha. We all have no life lah!
Me : Haha. Yea...
Me : Thats the reason why we are online in msn right? Haha.
Person: Lolx.

-___-

Her life is a wreck sometimes.
Well, at least she's more fortunate than the others isnt it?
Cause you see, at least, she's not living in a country like Myanmar or China which have been hit by Typhoon Nargis and an earthquake with a 7.9 to 8.0 Richter scale respectively.
Hahahaha. This shows that ive been well informed :P Blueks.
But somehow, people cant seem to stop thinking that their own life is more unfortunate than the others. Hmmph.
-im talking bout Arielle. (;

Diary, this June, I will really really buy a handphone! Okiee?
Haha. -*Psst. How many times have i said this beofore? Lols.
I'll buy a handphone which have a 'Microsoft Word' in it. So that i can write documents and save it then send it to comp. As well as Wifi! HAHA. ;D

Hmm.. that handphone will be HTC TOUCH Cruise/Diamond.
-I hope its Diamond as Diamond is 4 GB internal memory. HAHA.
The camera function if im not wrong is 3 MP but with no camera flash. You think its good?
Hmm.. Dont know lah.
But i like its touchFLO-3d. Hehs. Pretty cool. Reminds me of that Ipod Touch. Lols.

I message Kak Yah this-since she said that she's sleepy.
It goes something like this,
"Yea yea okiee. (: Good nite, dear beloved sis! Muaks.. Haha :D -isukakacauyou. Lols"
She replied,
"Ipunsukakatyou."

HAHA. Cute! ;D

11:59 PM Sunday, May 18, 2008 back to top?

• Dear Diary,

Today was actually good. HAHA. It was better. Hehs xD
-well, sort off.

So anyway, there's madrasah's exam today.
Honestly saying, Madrasah's exams was A PIECE OF CAKE! :DD
Hahaha. Yea yea.. Can do.
Norashid's in class kecoh lah oi! Haha. -Kept asking for answers.
Also people cheat cheat :P Blueks. Hehehe.

Hmm.. Eh!
I miss those times when we madrasah's friends were in Sec 2!!
Awww... We were more united and had fun, dont we? Haha.

So anyway, i was wondering...
About the sentence which i wrote, "madrasah's exams was a piece of cake!!"
Hmm... there's a few possibilities for this to happen.

Firstly, I did study.
Secondly, My good luck charm is pretty good. haha
Thirdly, Madrasah's exams is always easy.
And Fourthly, I have a high expectation in scoring the exams really well as well as im mentally prepared for it. Like psycho-ing myself to not give up.

Hmmm.. The 4th option to me is the number one reason for that sentence. And because of the 1st option, i was already and totally prepared to take it.
Cause you see... The past few weeks, for me my self-esteem was quite low. Hehhs.
However, on the contrary, school's exams is hard and i studied last minute. Hmm.. -.-'

Okiee. Shoots. This doesnt have anything related right? haha. Well, quite lah. Cant seem to find a conclusion here. Hahs.

So anyway, yesterday was Zunairah and Saiful Ariffin birthday. Both of them have the same birth date. Hoho.
So today in madrasah, i gave Saiful his present. A Ferero Rocher :D Haha.
Actually along the line, i was debating should i give him present or not. Haha.
So in the end i decided to buy him a present.
Cause you see, we're good friends and we get along well. Also we share stuffs together (eg: problems and advices). Moreover, today is our last year in madrasah and ive never gave him present before. So anyway, i wanted to create pieces of wonderful memories. So yea.. haha.
He said, "Thank you" and i was happy. Cause hey! It feels good to be appreciated isnt it. Haha ;D

Annisaa saw me giving him present. Haha.
Hmm... Talking bout presents, i owe her though. -although she didnt say she wants presents for her birthday.
Dont fret Annisaa! Your birthday, i'll buy you a wonderful present! Haha.
-To compensate for all those year of presents you gave to me. HAHA. ;D

Madrasah's finish and we went home.
Us 3, the usuals, talk on the way to our house.
Hmmm... The conversation about that Muhammad(the shorty in madrasah) was funny. Haha.
We talk about how Muhammad is actually quite cute. HAHA.
Like what herani said "Mungkin sebab last year ada lelaki lain yang paling more cute atau hansem daripada dia. Sampaikan we tak notice dia." Haha.
Could be true~ :P

Said goodbye to Zunairah. Both Herani and me continued our walk.
We talk some stuffs.
I realised from both our conversation, it was mostly about the topic of 'people changing'.
Note: FRIENDS.
Hmm.. I dont know how to describe it. Im not sure of how to though.
Its like.. It is sad to say that, a someone whom we're once close is now someone who is one not close.
Sad, frustrated, annoyed, disappointed, ignorance all in a feeling.

Around 2.30pm went to cousin's house. Celebrate birthdays. Hehs.
Daaris, the baby, my cousin nye anak.. Well i love his soft hair!! Haha. Nice to touch lah oi! Haha.
Hmm.. Also, i owe Cik Atan a present. HAHA. -_-
*Note: its not actaully OWE, just that, i wanna GIVE. Hees.~
I have little money left so yea.. You know, i gotta save money.
One day, i will belanja Cik Atan go movie! Haha. Ye ye...
-well i say this, tapi tup-tup mungkin jugak tak kesampaian. Hahahaha :D

Took photos with sis nye camera.
Ahh.. i want those pictures!! I hope she remembers to send it and faster lah send me. Heh heh.

After cousin's house, me and my sis went to TM. Bought some stuffs and headed back home.
Ohh this sister is my elder sis, Kakak Asiah.
-people says that me and her look alike. -.- But when i look at us, hmm... Muke sama ke? haha.
So anyway, maybe, if i already have the pictures, shall upload it here.
-i hope *cross
finger*

Talking bout pictures..
Sheeshh. The photos in friendster is soo... -_- I feel like deleting it though. Heh heh.
But nahh... Depends. Lols.

~`People change and life change, as time passes by.
And sometimes we just have to let go.
But still, its ok to hold on to those pieces of memories we shared,
as long as it does not obstruct us from moving forward with life. (;

11:06 PM Friday, May 9, 2008 back to top?

• Dear Diary,

Shits. Im feeling that kind of feeling right now.
The "Ohh.. Soo.. Down" feeling )):
Aww...

The feeling as if everything in your world is crashed.
Hmm...
-But im just exaggerating that though. Haha XD

Okiee. Wait! I know how to describe it.

Have you ever ride on a viking boat? -Escape Theme Park.
Whereby you sit at the top of the deck nearest to the end of the ship?
And so while the ship is swinging at its highest point, you find yourself upwards looking down on the ground.
Your heart starts to lurch, youre caught in your breath, and you feel as if there's butterfly in your stomach.

-thats how im feeling right now.

Haha. Youre thinking what the font in red means right? Haha.
-i'll leave you to figure it out. (:

P.S: This blog is rather.. Empty.
Im not sure if there's people who actually reads this. Hahs!
I did gives to certain people, still, i think they dont remember that i have or probably they actually forgot my URL. Hehs.

So probably, in the next post, when im ready.. I shall write out my feelings out.


11:49 PM Wednesday, May 7, 2008 back to top?

• Dear Diary,

Im really feeling fucked up right now.
Im in a melancholy state right now. And im feeling very pissed about it.
:'(

How useless!

Shits happened sometimes, you know?
Yea, well... I hope it'll get better sooner or later. (:

Alright fine! You know that when people say "cheer up" to a person who's down,
that person may think that, what that people says is 'too good to be true'.
Well yea.. I can understand that.
Its just that...
By saying that, they just mean that, they HOPE, WISH & PRAY for everything will be better for that person.

So what i mean is that, YOU'RE not alone you know? There are others who wishes the better for you. ((:
-And this is true. Yeahh! ;D

~`"Still weird but okay~~", a laughter followed by a funny face -__-"

i know that sometines, im not being a good gf to you. & IM SORRY for that!

9:48 PM Sunday, May 4, 2008 back to top?

• Dear Diary,

Im addicted to anime : Vampire Knight. HAHA.
Today in madrasah.. Annisaa told me that her sister too watches Vampire Knight.
Ohh haha.. Cool. At least i know that there's someone i know who do the same stuffs as me.
Hehhs.

I feel soo.. Umm empty? :/
Haizz...

I should make the first move-isnt it obvious?
Hmm.... Guess so.
-Maybe when im ready though.
I hope soon~~

7:32 PM back to top?

• Dear Diary,

Hmm.. Im kinda furious right now. Blerghh.
Just now...
I wanted to send my motorola phone pictures to my another phone.
Then later on i click 'mark file' on those pictures i wanna send.
Then.. when im marking some files, i saw this picture which was not nice..
So i decided to click 'option delete' on it..
Then jeng jeng jeng...
I had accidentally delete all my mark files which i wanted to send to another phone!
Omgg.. -______-

Those pictures are the ones which is nice nice one and lotsa memories in it. Grr...
Darn it! How stupid and careless i am.
Pfttt.
So right now im like, *Haiz.. Gahh.. Ahh.. Darn.. Stupid.. Grunts..*

Herani, Zunairah and Me always go home from madrasah with Ustazah Salbiah.
So today, Zu didnt come.

So on the bus, us, 3, talk about sembahyang hajat/istiharah/tahajud.
Later on, Herani and me walk together towards our house.
Our conversation which i had with Herani is like this:
Me : Kau percaye ke tentang ni(sembahyang hajat/istiharah).. I mean like... Do you think Allah akan kasi? Dan beri petunjuk?
Herani: Ya.. Like Duhh.. Of course.
Me : Ohh..
Herani: Asal? Kau tak percaye ke pe?
Me : Hmm... Tak lah. Aku actually percaye uh.. Tapi, im not sure if he's gonna give me or not. As in, if its gonna happen or not. Hehhs.

Hehhhs. Yea.. Its not that i dont believe.. Just that....(hmm hard to say).
Lols.

So anyway, a few days ago i chatted with my online friend.
Then, that friend of mine says that dia nampak minah kat MRT.
So i asked, "What do you think of minah? What is your opinion on them".
Then dia kata, "I dont actually judge people..Its just that when people irritate me then yea.. i call them minah..(like the one in the mrt)"
Then i replied, "Ohh okiee."
I add on, "Yea.. I understand what you mean. Like.. When people irritate me, I'd say to them "Oi DIAMLAH BODOH!!" "
Then dia, "hahahahhahaa"
Lols. Thats pretty funny. -if you dont get it then its okiee.

A conversation i had with Nadiah, during practical science in AV Theatre.
She was talking about this guy who plays timer.
Nadiah: I just hope he'll change lah.
Me : Why you wanna hope that he will change someday? I mean kan bagus kalau other perempuan satu hari akan take revenge on him. Biar padan muke dia.
Nadiah: Hmm yea.. But thats if he really cant change. I mean.. Im ok with what he did to me lah. Its just that i dont want other people to gone through what ive gone through.
Nadiah: Its just that.. Like... I can say a lot of bad things about you. Still i dont, cause i know that there's others-a lot of good points about you too.
-Well something like that. Hehs. I kinda forget how it goes like actually.
Ohh wow.. Mature huh? Hehh. Good. Yea i know what she means.

Okiee okiee. I have tuition later on.
And tomorrow is E.Math paper 2 and Social Studies exams. Haizz..
Syura.. Study study lah oi! -_-

Buhbyee.