2:18 PM Monday, July 13, 2009 back to top?

• Im afraid.
Afraid of this beginning to turn to a cycle.
Where history begins to repeat itself.

Ive been wondering...
Why did these things happen?
What should i do?
What went wrong?
How am i to improve this stuck-in-a-moment situation?

-Let it go?

*Slipping down a slide, didnt enjoy the ride. Dont know what to expect.
you lied to me
-a song. So cool.. by avril LOL.

How long have it been?
2 to 3 months eversince April?

Is this gonna end soon? This facade?
I dont even know if i can say its a facade!

Sad~ :(

Ahh.. i need some easy listening music.
Whatsoever to brightens my mood!

Syura syura syura...
Stop it.

Yeahh i know. But those thoughts, its them..

Sometimes diary,
Not knowing is better than knowing.
So be it.

2:39 AM Sunday, July 12, 2009 back to top?

• Dear God, i hope today's madrasah will be very thought invoking and bermuhasabah diri sendiri.
Cause right now, my heart is in a very big disarray.

From Yours truly,

From Yours truly,

-rawwrr. i dont know!
you, tell me and points out whats wrong. so that at least i know whats the problem!
cause keeping quiet and hoping that the other person realized his or her mistake is surely never gonna happen unless taufiq & hidayah is shown a light-path to the person in realizing by his/her own self. bangapbacen!

12:00 AM Thursday, July 9, 2009 back to top?

• Well 3 ppl mentioned to me that i have dark circle today! -.-
So yea.. i know.. OK! I didnt wear make up to cover it ok. Hahs.
They told me to sleep enough-.-"ZZzzz.
Yea yea i know.. but still i didnt do it-just like now. Hahs.

Cause honestly, i usually sleep around 1.40pm if im not doing any tasks.
Hence the next day is school, for example 8am or 9 or 11am.
So yeahh..

I guess this is habit lah.
I always do things in the middle of the night thats why...

You see yesterday, Tuesday, July 8, i came home around 6.45pm-if im not wrong.
Then i pray, played manga till around 9pm. Then at around 9.10 or so i went to sleep! Due to being in a prone position while mangaing which makes me really sleepy.

So i slept. Then i woke up around 11.50pm.
I prayed Ishak then all the way i till early morning till dawn also i didnt sleep.
I was studying clinical lab theory for the next day which is today!!
Yes! I had lab theory test today.
Study like omfg! -.- Spent around 5-5.5/5 hours of studying hahs! ZZZzz.
Then i slept again at 5.30am. My mum woke me up for Subuh but i guess i listen but then accidentally sleep again! Hehs.

So today i woke up at 8 then sleep, then woke up at 9 then SUDDENLY WOKE UP AT 10.30!-.-"
I saw the time, i thought it was 9.30 so ok.. So i check my phone .. I saw my Syahidah asked "Where are you?". Im like.. 'huh? now wad time?', so i looked at my phones watch and OMFG IM GONNA BE LATE FOR LECTURE AT 11.10am! hahs
So yeahh... I rush all the way, pick simple clothes-shirts and long skirts-then without make up!
Yeahhs.. Eh i realized its my first time coming to school without make up-not really ahh sometimes got days where its juts light make up put powder only.
Hmm so yea, i took taxi!

Thanks god i reached lecture at 11.14! Sempat babe! Heh heh heh !
:D
To me the most, i would actually thank is the taxi driver with his speed -though his speed bukan macam 'fastnfurios' gitu! Hees. (:

Then in the taxi, i find myself wondering.....

Heys! I want my FUTURE HUSBAND to be great and awesome at driving,

which is in: SPEED DRIVE!

But of course, ones which does not kills or accidents him or ME! Yes yes dear me....

You know me... The one who is most of the time lalways late or nearly and the one who needs & expects a CHAUFFEUR for her ! Mwahaahha :DDD

I SHALL FOREVER LOVE YOU, very much dear !! *twist&twirl!* hehe ;D

Haha ok! I am so not really high maintenance ok!
I just want someone who'll WILLINGLY drive me to a location and reached there fast so that im not late for the event HAHAH!

Theory test was ok.
It was do-able but need to think wide.
For me the ones which i dont know the answer i'll use whatever words i could think of which fits the questions! Haha.
Letak aje.. uh. Mana tau otak kau tu pandai-pandai beh miraculously correct! Hahaha! ;D

Ok then. Tmr i have lab assessment! on NGT feeding. T.T
Although now i feel kinda sleepy~~~
And that i fairly well knows my steps for ngt feeding hees. I ve just have to revise again and picture it on my mind a (few) time. So as to refresh!
Just like the button in 'refresh' in the Firefox/IE explrer -.-"ZZZzz -So unrelated =.="

I wanna eat Mcdonald breakfast meal hot cake tmr!!! Wahh craving lahhh~

11:59 PM Monday, July 6, 2009 back to top?

• Hmm, the most significant event today was about:
Collection of Critical Thinkin ICA2.

Kinda hectic abit.
People havent print, unable to print, people late.

Today was good. i came early~~ haha!
Hmmm by BUS ok!-not taxi.. shhh! :D hehe

Oh it was nice having Iqbal assisting me. Really really.
He's the assistant leader and im the leader.
Supposed to hand in by 12pm.
Then at 11.10 we had lecture.
Anyway, lots of people Skip that lecture.. due to their assignment due. Hahs!

Oh then i lecture, Iqbal sign language with me. haha.
Kata kul beraper i hantar...
I showed him '11.45' with my hand and the 'go out exit' sign too. Haha.
Then he understood.

11.45 came.
I looked at him wondering when he's gonna turn his head back to me or stand up.
Then he looked at me. I nod. Then he stood up followed by me.
Ive already marked those which still hadnt hand in.
So both of us walk and help each other by calling/telling people or msging people bout handing it to the lecturer room on their own.

-There's one part where i called Zan then i ask Iqbal to speak with Zan/Kumari. So he spoke to them.
The thing i like about him as in leadership was his ability to be firm. Hahs.
For me... Sometimes i am just not firm enough. Kinda more leeway or flexible type or the say but people didnt hear me -.-" Maybe cause my voice is soft or maybe not verbalize correctly. Hmm.. Lols. But its good to have him as my assistance though! (;

While at the lecturer's room, my phone rang while i was writng down. So i pass my ophone to Iqbal to pick up. hahs
So those two talk and then Iqbal passed it to the lecturer. Hahas.

Well! The most amazing thing about today was the surprise of having Iqbal going along with me to the lecturer's room as well as accompanying me!
-i didnt asked him bout that nor i thought of doing things on my own. hahs.

Ayway, im glad and thankful for his help! Hees~~
:DDD

1:05 AM back to top?

• Truthfully, after talking with Iqbal... Things seems to be pretty settled down. Hahs.
Cant believe he actually managed to gives me some awesome advice to cool my head down. Hahas.
Hmmm.. Hmm. Oh heys, i guess this is my first time telling him about the class thing which bothers me! :D
Ookok. Thank you very much, Iqbal for listening to my rants and pleas.

Anyway, the other party did apologize for using the wrong tone. So yeah, i wasnt offended anymore. Hees.

Assistant leader mahh ! :DD
I guess that 'me' thought i can do it independently. Hehs.
Tu pasal ada assistant untuk assist.

Oh asyura, your sort off wish CAME TRUE! :DDD
-remember? HAHAHHAA!

During work,
I wrote down words which was in mind. Hehe.

The words are:
Troubled
Iqbal
Responsible
Blames
Nice
Pushover
At Ease

Hahahha. Hmm hmm... Yeah! -obviously you dont get it.
I was troubled.
So i called Iqbal.
It was about the class thing for today and also about those two.
As if im being blame and at fault.
The others too, so Ganchiong adds up.
Maybe im being too nice thats why the pushover?
I breathe a sigh of relief.

----------

Madrasah, i learned some new knowledge.
So great lah itu 1ST PERIOD ustaz.
Oh Sejarah islam, 2ND PERIOD ustazah's lesson pun not bad.

Form groups for presentation.
Very kecoh seyy masih nak form group.
At first, i thought of going to Nurul Asyurah's group. So i tell Halimatul to go the makcik's group, since she's alone.
Then suddenly, Asyurah atau Aqilah kata "Abeh macam mana Annisaa?" - i forgot bout her.
So then i thought nak buat form new group ah.. 'Asyura, Annisaa and Halimatul'.
Beh i bilang makcik tu untuk gives me (back) Halimatul. Beh dia macam nak taknak beh tak faham faham gitu ZZZ=.=
So macam nak nangis and paisey bila cakap ngn dia. Ohh..
Then the girls section was a bit noisy. Then ustazah kata something about the girls then the guys laughs. -.-"
Then apabila dah cakap ngn makcik tu macam tak make sense gitu.. So yeahh dia turun infront.
Then i bilang Asyurah "Asyurahhh tengok ahhh....:/" -muka sedih2 sebab dia tak faham.
Then Aqilah kata "Makcik... Dia orang nak buat group baru. sebab ada orang group dia .... (blahblah)..."
Dan akhirnya saya dapat Halimatul. HAHAAH
Gosshh gossh.. Ada udang sebalik batu ah ni.. HAHHA!:D
Ok cool, we're gonnabe friends. hahah.
-Mungkin Annisaa understand what im saying. HAHAHAHAH :DDD
-tapikan Annisaa gonggong ketika i call her about the grp thing. She didnt take my hint. God! ZZz.

----------

Its not another back view of you anymore.
Its the same voice as you now.
HAHAHA!
Cool kan ANNISAA!:D
you know i know, they dont know.
-Ehs nama dia macam out of the ordinary gituuuu...~~ -.-"


Oh goshhh this post is very secretive! hahahaha!
And lots of HahaS! :P

3:06 AM Friday, July 3, 2009 back to top?

• Went out with Wardah to do Essay. Haha.

Jumpa kat Admiralty! Yess.. Very jauh la...
Tapi takpe. As long as ive started on my Critical Thinking Essay. HAHA!
Pukul around 6.20 to 10.40pm start and finish, in the end around 910 words ive reached hah!

Wardah tu ehh.. Banyak kawan lelaki -.-ZZzz Hehe.
She told me about she and her guy dah break, cause of another girl. The guy told/admit to her about another girl.
Hmmm to me, i find it quite sad for this to happen.

Somehow, what i think is that...
I guess the guy telling her this is because, he admit his mistake and he feels guilty about it. Also because the guy still have feelings for her.
So thats why he wanted to confessed it to her so that she at least knows what's going on and for her to forgive him.
Imagine telling versus not telling? Which would you choose?
I guess there is a pretty fine line between both. Its up to individuals. HEES.

Its funny how a boyfriend can be just a friend or even nothing at all.

Hence moral of the story, "Boyfriends needs to be reassured!" IS IT TRUE?'
Haha.

Anyway, Baka Micheal wont msn chat with me. -.-
Eventhough his status changes from away to available to busy and vice-versa.
Its always like this! -.-zzz
Is he ignoring me?
Or maybe is someone using his acount, so thats the reason?

Im pretty tired with hide-and-seek and guessing and riddles games. Hahs.
It leaves me hanging and in confusion. Hahs.
For a short time is ok. But if its long-term, i'd pretty much feel unmovable like a statue. HAHA!
xD

Someone asked me somestuffs. But i didnt answer that person.. Hees.
Its complicated/hard for me to say.
Well, now i'll answer that person.
Answered by Asyura: Antara ada dan tiada!(:
Hehe. A song! Pernah dengar Utopia - Antara ada dan tiada.
Cool song though. Tapi tak sangat lah relate to me, ape je...! Haha.

Oh hey, that someone also says, that i look very different in my facebook photo. -.-"
ZZzz.
Dia berkata bahawa di dalam gambar, saya lihat sungguh "young!".
Whereas in real life, i look mature!
MWAHAHAHA! :D
Mature boleh dikatakan 20 years old Tapi BELO-.-" ZZZ.
Hahaha.

Bacen betul. Tapi tidak mengapa. ;D

~`Notice me. Im falling...

10:23 PM Wednesday, July 1, 2009 back to top?

• Ohh my god!!

She wants to join floorball!-along with her friend.
Holy macaroni!

Alright! Its not that i dont like her..
Is just that.. Its as if, she's entering my space.
Somehow i just dont feel comfortable about it.

Its like, there's someone i know-who is somewhat close to me- who i guess can see through me in whatever i do or where i am.
I'd rather be for us in a different world.-get what i mean?

Well, another reason is because sometimes..
I wonder what she thinks of me and im scared to create friction between us. So thats why i'd prefer spaces between the both of us.
Furthermore, you know about someone knowing you, who knows.. She blurts un-nice things about me to my fb friends.

-im sorry to think badly of her ok. It is just my negative thought capturing me. Although i know that people will always not accept this. Its like they think "WTH, she doesnt trust me. Whatever.. Like i care about her lah!" kinda thought for the one who reads it.

Because diary, all i ever want in floorball is to create friendship among the people.
Having the mindset that "Heys! I got pretty cool friends in floorball. They're great. We're so close. Its cool.. Team spirit baby, yeah!"-that kind of thought.
I dont want things to be ruined just because of uncomfortabilities or dislikes between us. Hees.

So ok!
Eventhough i feel uncomfortable about it..
And even if she were to join and be accepted in floorball, i would gladly welcome her with SINCERE heart, ok!
So asyura.. NO BAD BAD feelings, alright!? ((:

Yeah. Thats just, pretty much me.
Sometimes, even if i dont like it-how the situations are going or how its not going my way-, or even if i dont show my teeth.. I pretty much doesnt really bite.
Hahs! ;D
-if youre talking about provoking me... Hehs =.=" I wonder!

I hope things goes well and that we could improve our situation and friendship.

Oh one thing bugging me is that. I she really good?
Cause diary, i am somewhat a Competitive person, yo! With all these happening ok? hehehhe :P