8:45 PM Tuesday, April 19, 2011 back to top?

•
The heart. Its complicated :(

True enough. You want to move on, but something keeps pulling you back.
Even though you tried to, You dont have the courage to move on.

Hahaha okiees, its complicated. But its sad ;'(

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Well, Z-carebear wasnt what i hoped or expected of him, in the end.
Its so so sad. Without knowing, silently, we said our goodbye.
And it seems that he have moved on and going to another target already.
I feel so cheated. Yet i cant blame him or myself even.

Because from the start i knew, Once fallen, Ive already fall.
So whats the point about regretting? Because they say, in the first place, you wanted it(him).

I dont regret. Just sad, and i guess a lil bit heart-broken. But its ok, im ok.
I guess its for the better (:

I had a lovable and sweet memories of him, being with him.
Hmm.. Our quirky weird first meeting, those presents especially the Cute Carebear you gave me, late night phonecalls, datings & movies, waiting & walking towards the train right after work together, the kisses you gave me whenever we parted. To me, you are very sweet.

Ohh especially that one time, when you were sick, but i told you to meet me after work.
& sweety you did come, eventhough the rainy day and you taking a cab to MSQ just to see me. We talked, walked, and the usual parting kiss you gave me. The parting was adorably cute! Cause.. I was like.. I dont wanna go.. and i was like.. "Taknak taknak... :( alaaa.." Then he laughed seeing me and bend down to kiss my right cheek. Afterward i began quieting down, since obviously i was happy and he was being adorable right?. Haha.

Hmm.. And another is how your hand felt while touching mine. Where our fingers would intertwined between the gaps of the finger. Hehehe. I dont know... I like the feeling of holding hands. Infatuation (or is that called fetish) haha. :P Hmm.. maybe its because of the warmth. The feeling of nice-ness you get when your lover holds you. Hees.

Hmm.. Its ok. What i did, i did it sincerely, i didnt ask for anything-Thats what i told myself. (:

When he loose me, he lost a wonderful and beautiful girl. Darling.
About me getting a someone, it may not be now. Maybe sooner or later that very one will come.. Thats what i told myself too. So yeahh.

I guess im moving on.
Well i should. Although sometimes fragments of memories keeps reflecting back, but its ok. I know.

"Move this hand, we’re strangers now

Don’t worry about me and go away
I’ll disappear, no strings attached
You thought I’d hang onto you
It’s disgusting, don’t misunderstand

I’ll meet someone so much better
I’ll make you regret it all
Sadness is only for now, boy
Cause love is over
Love, love is over tonight"

2ne1 - Go away.

4:05 AM Sunday, April 3, 2011 back to top?

• A friend of mine says:

I dont believe in waiting. You have to put yourself out there for someone to find you. Besides, you wont know if he's meant for you till you go into that stage, right?

Well... What my friend says, did hit me deep. It proves a point.
Like... If you sit at home all day long, you wont get a boyfriend right? Well yeah thats true.

But umm.. So i replied:

True.. But i dont know... If it meant to be, its meant to be... Isnt that what you call fate?.. Because who knows we may meet each other out there in a cross-path. Accidentally meeting and falling in love with each other? Or dalam diam... The feelings just come without knowing. Hahaha.
But i Believe in God. It may not be now.. But im pretty sure that there will be someone better out there in-store for me.

Then they say, But arent you supposed to open your heart?
Hmm well.. If it comes, it comes right? Im not saying that i will closed my heart for the rest of my life. But if it comes.. Naturally, love will seep in through and open the door to your heart already right? (:
Hahaha.

Well, maybe i may be wrong. Maybe not.
But i know that obviously i wont sit around doing nothing. We shall meet in a cross-path, okayy Love? hehe.

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What else? I watched a drama named Youre Beautiful, a few weeks ago.

So i liked this Conversation...

Im not asking you give all of your heart at one go.
If you have the thought of giving me your heart bit by bit, or at least start to open up your heart.. Then that is a start.

Because... I have started.

I think this is sweet.

-But somehow, this dialogue, kinda make me sad.
Weren't you the one who asked me to open my heart and slowly giving my heart a chance to love you.. But now when ive started where have you gone?

Maybe i was too late. Maybe i didnt put in enough effort or tries. I wonder is it my fault?
Or the usual, we're not meant to be. Am i right? *sigh*

This post is really contradicting. haha. I know.
Well, Its ok then, if we're not meant to be. Goodbye to you, i say. I guess youre one of those whom i met out there, a stranger then turns into something then turns to.......

They say.. "Guys, who probably are thinking of giving up on someone, well.. They probably already have." Geez.. This is kinda sad right? Like how boys are one straight-minded creatures.. & We're girls the "He loves me, he loves me not *Pluck petals*" ASS.
Then there's the, If you can forget him and forget all the memories.. Does that mean that all those times youve spent with the other-half have any meaning to it? Pfft.
Guess im being mean, but i'll try to be nice about it.

SORRY. Maybe Z was not meant to be (perhaps?).