1:15 AM Friday, August 27, 2010 back to top?

• Ok so here's a question for you...
About: Who Am I? (:

Do you think I will... :

1. Be marah at you?
2. Dont care/ Heck care about it or even you?
3. Di luar tak dilihat marah, tetapi di dalam... Hati tengah marah, walaupun ada perasaan sedih?

Or

4. Di luar buat muka selamba... Tetapi di dalam hati ini, hanya tuhan yang tahu!; perasaan marah, sedih, tertanya-tanya, buntu.....
Namun, deep, deep, deep down inside of me, Asyura tahu bahawa saya tidak patut/harus ambil hati atau berperasaan begitu. Because.... Who am i to you anyway!?

-HAHA. I sound very melayu -.-

Maka itulah. Heee (;
Chill saje, babe.

11:59 PM Wednesday, August 25, 2010 back to top?

• Weeeeeeeeees!~~~
I finallyy did it. One of my wishes or the to do list, ive finally made it. Haha

Okok. I BAKE CORNFLAKES today! hehhehe ;D
2 types : Honey cornflakes & Chocolate chip cornflakes. Hehe :D
It all tastes good! Akhirnya terjadi nya ia. Haha.

Yes yes, im happy with my achievement. Haha.
My second time baking. Which my first was brownies! HEHE.

Hmm well, the honey cornflakes i thought that its gonna turned out too sweet since i (accidentally) add a lil bit of sugar and a few spoonful of honey inside it.
Then in the end, it actually turn out a-OK. (: Macam biasa. Not soo sweet like i'd thought it would have been. But mine tastes good!

Then the chocolate chip cornflakes bar, maybe its the oven temp and the timing bake, which made it turned out dark and quite hard at first lah. So i thought maybe hangus ke pe uh.
So after buka i tried eating it and Hmmm~~ It tastes of choclate chip! (Duhh because i put choc chip and it melt when bake thats why its kinda dark!). Tapi kan the balance of the choc chip with the condensed milk i put on top of it while rata kannya tak sangka, it'd taste good. haha Cause im like.. Mana lah tahu rasa tooo sweett ke pe or hangus ke. In the end rasa sedap. Manis seperti rasanya chocolate! hehe ;D

HAPPYY I YOUU!~~ :D
Sukaaa.

Ps: My adik puji i lahh.. Dia kata sedaap! haha ;P LOLS.

11:59 PM Sunday, August 22, 2010 back to top?

• Today was the most wonderful and blissful event which happened to me. HEEES :D
My best-close-girlfriends, met up and iftar at my house.
Of course im happyyy and excited!! ~ :D
-its been so long since we've last met. & this is the first iftar i had with my friends. And the 2nd time one my friends did come to my house! (;

Hmm anyway, around 4.30pm both, Nadiah and Herani come my house to help me cook.
Thank you for coming and helping! :D

Then around 640pm, Zunairah datang.
Followed by Nabiha, and lastly Annisaa. (:
Thank you girls for coming.

So today, i or actually we (herani and nadiah) masak Spaghetti. -Alaaa.. instant punya, senang lah. haha.
Then goreng ayam, epok-epok, crabstich, hotdog and fishball. HEEES! :D Also cut buah watermelon and mango. HEHE.
Banyak uh? Lols.

Hmm.. Before my gf dahbis makan (buka time i mean), both my parents dah keluar rumah untuk pergi terawih already.
So seperti apa yang my mum letak condition, kalau nak ada iftar kat my rumah, kena BASUH pinggan, cawan itu semuaa baru boleh.
And yeahh.. Thanks ok, Herani, Nadiah and Annisaa for tolong cuci pinggan. AND the Rest for tolong angkatkan barang. So while 2-3 people cuci pinggan, the others pergi Solat maghrib. Hehes (:

Hmm then, im the last one who prayed maghrib, since i gotta settle some stuffs uh.
Then We (only those who yang pakai tudung itu, haha!)-Nabiha & Annisaa & Me- agreed to go terawih together uh.
In the end, by the time i finish praying and siap2 untuk keluar and our TAKE PHOTOS session of all of us.. Dah sampai kul 830pm+. HAHA.
So in the end, tak jadi lah gi terawih. Haha. We decide might as well pergi geylang. haha. Which then while already at bus stop we (Nabiha, Annisaa & me) decided to change plan go to tampines to chill and minum bubble tea there. HAHA.

Okok, talk about the photos, it was super funny and lame! haha. :D
But it was fun, we had a GOOOD laugh! ;D heees.
Hmm I'd want the photos! haha. But its with Annisaa. So yeahh. Its ok, i'll wait. (:

To sums up, my day was pretty eventful.
Thank you ladies for making my day. Hehe.

I SAYANG YOU ALL BANYAK BANYAK! ;D (v) hehe.

11:59 PM Sunday, August 15, 2010 back to top?

• So i chatted with Saiful today. Hehe.
He's my best-close-guy-friend of mine! :D

We always talk about things revolving our life, work and mostly as well as especially about LOVE. :D
So yeahh, i guess i can say that we're Love's GURUs? -oh goshh that sound weird. haha. I meant we'd confide with one another about things relating to love and how to deal about with it. Haha. Sheeshh.. I feel corny, saying it here.. ;P

So yeahh we talked, mostly about mine. The things he said really struck me deep. Haha.
Its like.. "Tak sangka saiful boleh berkata begini pada aku." Awww... (v)

asy im sorry to say but not everyone is perfect..
everyone will have probs in life..
and maybe he got the worst of it..

but do think that he needs somebody like you in his life..
think asy his life been a mess and you are somebody who is caring,religious and friendly..

that's wad i think..it's up to u asy..haha
maybe time would tell uyk

Haha. Well, i guess, its true what Saiful is saying.
But ummm.. i guess its just me. Im the maybe yes maybe no, the hesitant one.
I can accept it/him, maybe? Probably, we'll see? But part of me i want some things inside of him to change. So yeahh.

Oh wells, lets see if this love or crush or whatever that is going on between us will stay or fade.
Just like you-know-who, in the past. (:

11:02 PM Friday, August 13, 2010 back to top?

• Its funny and aggravating, when..
Loves comes knocking at your heart, but then you tries to deny it.
However when you've finally admitted the feeling, the other's heart backs away.

I want to FALL deep. But im scared and wary.
Just fall.

Plunging down towards the ocean from a high distance, and "Splashed", hears the sound of water.
Whereby, while the journey of falling down towards the ocean, youre heart clenched tight, anticipating the outcome, and the thrills of the moment is just pure exhilaration.

Can i feel that?

------


But i know that, it's just seem to be impossible right now.

2:50 AM Tuesday, August 10, 2010 back to top?

• Well.. Today, National Day, I was working. Hahaha :P
Crazy, i know. Oh wells.

I'll always remember 9 august, last year. hahha.
Well yea, lotsa things happened last year 2009 and this year 2010. haha.

Hmm well, this year, I got to see the fireworks again today! haha.
Well just a few glimpse of it! Awww.. oh wells, it was ok. Maybe next time yeah i see the whole thing. hehe.

So coincidentally, while i was walking out of the glass door to see the fireworks then i saw Kaoru. Then yeaa, we walked outside and looked up the fireworks in the sky.
Thanks man for just being beside me, though i didnt get full satisfaction from watching it. Haha. But it was lovely, to me (:
Then once the fireworks ended i said goodbye to him and i went back.
-That was during my break period! LUCKY me! -getting to see the fireworks. hehehe.

Hey hey, i really do think that seeing the fireworks is verryy romantic! hahaha :DD

Hmmm.. Well after that, i had the out of the blue plan today.
So I told my colleagues, "Hey girlss, later after work wanna go to Esplanade rooftop? hehehhe. Its a greenery place as well as you can see the skies and the buildings surrounding it. Hehe. Wanna go? Wanna wanna go? ".
In the end, WE DID GOO! Hooorayyy.. :DD
One of the beautiful memories i created today. Hehe.
Because honestly, i was feeling a lil bit longing (to see the skies and thinking bout the past). Just to chill out there. Haha.

I really love the place lah. Hehe. -Aww you know me. Hehe.
Just like Marina Bay, I love that place tooo. hehe.
I really do wish, for if one day, after work, or someting, then when im stressed or feeling longing, then one day, i will go to that place. Haha. But it'd be better if there is someone there to accompany me. Hees.

Oh, then.. While at the esplanade rooftop, i layed down on the pavement, my eyes overlooking the beautiful skies and the clouds.
How i wish time would not pass by, and how i could really lie down there, just taking in the breeze. Hehe.
But sadly, i had to go-well They had to go, since its time for them to go home.
So oh wells, i gotta move.. So yeahh. And we exited from Esplanade. (;

Hmm about Kaoru, we talked some stuffs today. Haha. Ok it was a good conversation..

~`Cuz when he's looking, she falls apart. -Alejandro: lady gaga.


11:59 PM Tuesday, August 3, 2010 back to top?

• Today was good (:
I did wound dressing today! Weees. Hmm... Im still kinda crappy. Shucks -.-

I gotta do my Case presentation. To be presented by tmr Wed.
I stil havent done my pathophysiology and IMR drug indication. Gyahhh.. Sleepy :/

------

Ok lets skip to the nice part.
Its seems that Kaoru lives in the west side, whereas im in the east.
-To me im like.. Aww... We're far apart , not that good for distance.. hahah. Since i like someone who is near and is there for me(in terms of distance). See first lah. :P
Then his family and education.. Maybe something is there; hidden. Entah lah.. tak mau tanya sangat.. Tak mau prop in...

Conversation is cute. Makes me excited and wonders what to write more about.

But i just dont know what else to say :/ sad :(
-maybe this is just introduction lah..

I kept on comparing my conversation with Charlie.
With Charlie, it was more fun and spontaneous. I crack crap joke with him and he too crack crap too. Haha. It was fun. I use ass, asshole thus dissing Charlie. Haha. He also dont mind and he use the word Minah Kampung on me too.. Kurang asam betul.. -.-" HAHA

But i guess, the difference between Charlie and Kaoru is that...
With Charlie, at least we met each other once a week and know about our personality in class (previously, before he quitted).
For Kaoru, it was because both of us are new. We met but never say hello or anything. SO yeah thats why.. The (silence or) awkward? -the kepala tak tau apa lagi nak cakap.

Honestly honestly honestly, I dont want and dont like it to be Silence.
As i kinda rate people through our conversation. Like Can talk or Cannot talk type. Thats why, i think this Talking about each other is important.
But hey, come on dont stress so much. Its just the 3rd day right? Hahs. -.-

You know, i know. What ive gone through before. What i want things to change and what i want to expect? -Come on, im not high maintenance. :P

Hmm.. i wonder what Kaoru was thinking, when he asked wad course im studying, which i replied nursing. Haha.

Maybe those words "I dont know what else to talk about".. is more of.. FOR you to open yourself up to me, then i shall open up my self and eventually this Heart to you. I'll try to open up my shelf.

Heeh. Let see how things end. (:

Ku impikan dikau slalu
Hanya itu yang ku mampu
Masih terasa sentuhmu
Kapan lagi akan bertemu
Ku berjanjikan selalu
Disampingmu walau jauh...

Jangan bimbang.. Jangan ragu
Kau tetap bintang hatiku...

Hady Mirza - Ku tetapkan menunggumu

11:59 PM Sunday, August 1, 2010 back to top?

• Yesterday, Saturday was definitely surprising! :D
At the same time im speechless and excited. Hahaha.

Firstly, during FA closing, we managed to hit target for the month of August! Arnd $31k. hehe. (;

Secondly, Well... I received a LOVE-LETTER :p hahaha UWAHHH...!~~
Hahaha, ok im exaggerating! :P

So on that day yesterday itself, there was this guy-working in a F&B- came to my shop and bought cookies. So i served him, he wanted Choc Chip Pecan.
I kinda feel awkward with him-dont know why- & i kinda hide from his view abit, so yeah he went off after i gave him his change and receipt -Psstt! receipt got my name, *hint? :P

So a few hours later, the queue was long, i was serving the customers alone.
This customer infront of me, was kinda fussy and say sorryy about her changing mind, but to me it's ok, then i greet her with a smile, so yeah :D
I also noticed that behind that customer got a woman wearing the same uniform as that guy who came earlier. She waited for her turn and i notice she's looking at me and i wonder if she also wanna buy cookies same as that same guy who came earlier on.

As that woman turn came, she said to me.. Somewhere along the line of:
"Hi. Just now my colleague got come to buy cookies from you here. Right?"
-Thinking.. "Oh yeahh!"
"And here.. He wanted to give you this letter for you..."
So i took that paper-torn letter, open up a bit and saw scribble, then i closed back again since im busy and have another customer. No more customers already, i opened and read...

In my mind, "Love letter? -.^"

Hi.. XXX here. Can we be friends? *insert smile. Here my no:xxxxxx'

Then it dawns on me! Im sooo slow! That person have an interest in me!
So i began laughing, "HA HA! Hey girls, i got a Love letter!". Hahaha.
Then Rahyu began reading it and Jenny too. They both smiled. haha.

So of course im veryy new at this, i just dont know what to do.
I even cant really remember exactly what the guys's face looks like! Seriously.
To describe him, is pretty vague to me. HAHA. Since i didnt really notice him.

All i know is that, he's not big (im not sure about muscular lah)-cause you know me. I notice people by their body shape, since i like those big-built shoulder guy, which you already know why. Since in my opinion theyre pretty fleshy :P (& i recognize ppl by their shapes since i dont wear glasses).
His face, im not sure, ok-ok lah can lah...
His hair.. it was ok.. Maybe it was kinda spiky, but not spiky-spiky! haha. (What the hell am i describing! -.-")
Maybe he looked kinda Mat rep? Tapi bukan lah mat rep.. *Alerr.. i dont know! Tak notice sangat. But he look a like nice person? can say good-loking or cute jugak? (tapi samar-samar aje to me). And probably he's like those guys have talked to girls before-maybe flirt? I dont know, I didnt realised :/

Hmm i asked Rahyu, should i contact him? Rahyu replied, up to me. Just be friends is ok lahh.. Its not as if he expects to me bf-gf ape. I even told Juli on Sunday while going home, Juli then mentioned, to just reply him and be friends saying that this kind of thing is normal. (Like of course, if a person like you .. How else does people go about wanting to be friends and maybe more than that). Even my sisters sibuk kacau kata pergi jadi kawan sudah..
Oh yeah Kak Yah tanya "Is he like blur blur sotong gitu.. gundu ke pe?" Hahaha. No lah, it doesnt look like it, i see him, like can think punye org.

So Then Today, Sunday, while on the way home, i msged the guy.
Told him my name and im 18.
Lets call him, Kaoru. Age 21, working full time.

So bla bla. I asked why me.. Its like so weird lah to me. Like how and when did he even noticed me!?
(Ive seen him, but i didnt actually realised it was him. That time.. I think i saw a guy walking past my shop towards the glass door, and while walking, our eyes met and he was looking at me), so im not sure... if it was really him or not, Maybe yes lah)
Whatever it is..
He replied that, he noticed me Very long ago. Eversince APRIL! Goshh.. April was arnd a few weeks-1 mth i work in FA MSQ. So yeahh. Bayangkan April to July/August!? -Dah 3 months sey! Haha.

Bla bla..
I asked him, if he work today, sunday. Because i didnt see him, or maybe i didnt even realised it was him.
He replied, He worked today. He walked pass my shop a few times already, its just that I was the one who didnt realised it he was there!' hahhahaa :DDD NICEEE one asyura! lols.
Also, he mentioned that the woman colleague who came, said that i got a swit face n smile :DD xDD hahaha. Awwww...

So yeahh.. From my conversation with him, he's an innocent guy to me. Haha.
Ok lah, can say the conversation was cute.
But of course, these kinds of thing i wont let my wildest imagination fly too far. Cause who knows, im being cheated or prank whatsoever. Haha.

Come on! Its not that im saying that he's a bad guy.
Just that.. I just wanna protect my heart. From falling and then breaking. I dont want that to happen (again).