10:03 PM Saturday, March 31, 2012 back to top?

• Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Today i went for Khat lesson. Someone whom i first met, whom i sat beside her during lesson, whom i talked with out of the blue, someone who coincidentally we stay closed by, and we walk home the same way. Masyaallah.

From a stranger to a friend and eventually to a confidant.

And till now, my heart, i am still amaze with this girl's character and her stories. MasyaAllah! :')

Her love story, her istikharah prayer, her doa.. SubhanaAllah. Dahsyat.
I loves how Allah plans her jodoh. :')

It was her consistent and her niat in her prayers which led her to be engaged and InsyaAllah she'll be marrying soon in July. Subhanallah (:
Im soo happy for her. BarakAllah.

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It makes me feel that diriku masih kekurangan. Masih tidak sempurna.
Ya Allah, mungkin Kau sayang dia lebih dari aku? Maka ya Allah, sayangilah aku juga ya Allah. Aku ingin cintamu Ya Allah.

Subhanallah. Terharu. Sungguh terharu. Sungguh terharu hati ini :')

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Ada seseorang yang mulia berkata, bahawa jikalau dia kahwin, dia ingin seseorang isteri yang accept Dinar & Dirham sebagai Mas Kahwin. Dan Hantaran sebanyak $4 ribu.
MasyaAllah. Semoga anta memiliki seseorang sepertinya. Jodohmu dari Allah Subhanalla wa taa'ala untuk anta. Insyaallah(:

Would you?
I would. Sssssh! Sebab kita nak kawin untuk mendapat keredhaan Allah. Amin.
Insyaallah. Sesungguhnya hanya Allah yang tahu isi hati kami setiap insan. hehe.

*Mungkin kalau anta sudah bertunang/berkahwin, Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...
Ana akan mengucapkan "Barakallah hu feek", InsyaAllah dengan hati yang ikhlas dan redha. Amin. (';

3:22 AM Wednesday, March 28, 2012 back to top?

• Dear sweetheart. Stop falling for another.

So the person whom ive talked about marriage about... I accidentally terlepas kata says, yes "nk kawin dengan awak".
Uhhh.. At that point in time it feeel so right. Dats the reason why.
When he said sebab kita suka pada pandang pertama dan taknak ada fitnah... Awws!

So the istikharah thing... Hmm... I dun noe if its true? :'/

Hmm then the guy whom ive always admired from far...
Whereby at that point in time... He was infront of me walking past me at the Majelis Rasulullah event..
When he passes me by.. In my heart i whispered "Uhibbuka fillah"... If only you knew.
But fate brought us together dlm ilmu Allah.. Subhanallah :'(

Namun.. Aku tahu... Bahawa dia sungguh baik! Lebih baik dariku. Lebih luas ilmunya. Lebih dalam cintanya pada Rasulullah s.a.w dan Allah s.w.t. Sungguh mulia akhlaqnya :')
Wahai seseorang yang mencintai dia kerana Allah... Janganlah kau berfikir bukan2. Berhenti lah disitu.. Jgn kau ungkapnkan sesuatu yg bukan pasti... Berhenti berhenti!

3:49 PM Friday, March 23, 2012 back to top?

• Im in mekah now. Masjidil haram.
It makes me feel of wanting one... Of my own.

But but.. I dont know when? whose child is the father is? Can i have twins? since it'll be wonderful to have twin. Hehe.
Aah... Maybe its not my time. Maybe im tooo young. Maybe its just that woman's instinct that i felt.
But... Somehow coming here makes me feel more love for children?

Hmmm.
Am i ready?
Its the 'what if(s)' that im afraid of :'(
Im scared that this feeling i have is just nafsu? Nauzubillah

12:44 AM Wednesday, March 14, 2012 back to top?

• So ive just re-read my post on 4th January 2012: Wahai langit.

There's the part of:

But now.. I dont know if i'll ever see him again. Same goes with Taufiq too.
As neither of us are connected by any threads. Hmm... :/
I hope, one day, we'll meet each other again, and who knows connected to threads.

And who knows, (Yes! The 'What If' -Ive always love that), we're connected and joint, by Allah's grace.

Ya Allah, ya rahman ya rahim.
Sesungguhnya kau maha mendengar lagi maha mengetahui bisikan hati setiap insan.

Subhanallah.Yes we are! Connected now. Masyaallah... (:

-Though i dont know how long our persahabatan will last. Insyaallah, berpanjangan.
Where we'll learn our ilmu, increase our iman and faiths together. Alhamdulillah.

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Ive always feel kekurangan or inferior when i see people who are well different from me.
Like.. Masyaallah, dia sungguh baik orangnya/ sungguh lawa orangnya/ sungguh tinggi ilmunya/ sungguh baik akhlaqnya.

Ah... Me too. I should memperbaikikan diriku ini ye. T.T
I need to be Istiqomah (consistent) dalam segala amal yang ku buat :'(
I know im not a good person. Im trying to be.

“No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of worrying can change the future. Go easy on yourself, for the outcome of all affairs is determined by Allaah’s decree. If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come your way, but if it is yours by destiny, from it you cannot flee.” Umar ibn al khattab (ra)

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Tadi i jumpa my Khat friends, di Bugis.
And Fatin, said something which makes me kinda shriek and excited. Masyaallah.
She said to us girls, that she's engage! (:
Subhanallah (((: And she's just 19 this year! masyaallah.
I am soo happy for her!

She did said that she solat istikharah too when she choosed her partner. Wow.

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Okay okay. In order to be a better person. Niat itu important. Okays (:
I'll be awak for Umrah. 14 march to 28 March.
In hopes when i come back.. Insyaallah i'll become a better person and a better Muslimah. tiada riya, sombong dan penyakit hati.. Di doakan jauh daripadaku. (:

8:29 PM Monday, March 12, 2012 back to top?

• Bismillah hirrahmannir rahim.

I feel as if fate... Or in otherwords pengetahuan dan ilmu Allah.. Is Masyallah amazing!
Like how... There is a person whom ive always admired but never talked to... Someone who i find that he's amazing.. Someone who makes me feel that diriku ini kekurangan bukan seperti dia.. Someone who makes me want to be a better person, a better muslimah..
Lalu, dengan izin Allah kami dipertemukan dalam kelas ilmu Allah. Masyaallah.
And with that.. That is how i get to know 'huwa'. Subhannallah (:

Tapikan... Saya takut. :'(
Saya takut.. diri ni akan terjadi terlalu berharap pada dia. NONONO. Tak mau.
Im like telling myself this: "Please dont fall for him. Setakat Seorang lelaki yang aku sayang pada Allah aje okays?" :')

Dengan izin Allah.

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Tadikan... After Khat lesson, me and my new-found friends and classmates went to eat together.
So i told Taufiq.. regarding my A level pengajian Islam studies and decisions.

Then he said something which brings me to near-tears. Masyaallah.
*its not exactly what he said.. but something like...*:
'Allah akan bertemukan hati-hati kita yang ingin menimba Ilmu Allah'.
So kirekan.. If our niat, our choice untuk menuju kepada Allah, insyaallah we will meet each other again. Something like a gathering, berkumpulan where Allah akan mempertemukan kita.
Masyaallah. :') I was soo awed, terdiam.

Entah... rasa bagaikan diri ni sungguh kekurangan :'(

Lepastu, 'Huwa' berkata tentang...
Membaca Ya aziz' selepas subuh bila telah membaca Salam. Do this for 40 days insyaallah, rezeki akan bertambah atau without knowing akna bertambah.

1:48 AM Friday, March 9, 2012 back to top?

•

Wanita yang comel =
Wanita yang menutup aurat dengan sempurna.

Wanita yang sweet =
Wanita yang banyak diam dengan lelaki ajnabi.

Wanita yang romantik =
Wanita yang mengharapkan cinta dari Allah.

Wanita yang charming =
Wanita yang sering mengingatkan lelaki tentang cinta Allah.

MasyaAllah. This makes me feel so kerdil. :'((

Maafkan aku Ya Allah, tentang jarakku dgn seorang lelaki ajnabi.
Please Allah help me. :'(

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UHUH YESS. RENUNG-RENUNGKANLAH :3
-about my previous post :'(
:')

I should have told him and be firmed from the start! Grrr.. stupid girl!

12:25 AM back to top?

• A few days ago, on a Sunday, me and my ex-masjid Kassim classmates (herani and Liyana) met up with Ustazah Salbiah.
Its been a long time since i last met her. Masyaallah, yes Uhibbuki Fillah, ya ustazah :')

So i asked her this question, on what should i do?

Ustazah, kalau... we have this 2 person.
One is someone whom youve always like, yang dimpi-impikan selalu. Someone that when you look at him and that he makes you a better person, a better muslimah (insyaallah). He is someone who we would say a good Muslim person.

But then, there's another person.
He's someone who wants to get married, who is finding for a wife right now, someone who insyaallah wants to complete half of his deen..
And well... I too, am a person who wants to get married..

So what should i do?

She replied, since both of them adalah yang terbaik, maka you solat Istikharah.
Solat for 3 days consistenly then with your wuduk pergi tidur. Then if takda 'hint', you solat lagi for 5 days consistently den see if ada hint, with wuduk while sleeping. Then if takda hint lagi, solat lagi 7 days, sleeping with wuduk to see what Allah wills for you. But if there is no hint, then you ikut kepada hati. Weighs which one is good for you(obviously dunya dan akhirat dalam pertimbangan & jannah)

:') Masyaallah. I macam terharu and sayu hati gitu.
Currently, i dalam Uzur, and i cant pray. And also, i'll be going to
Umrah on 14 March to 28 March, next week, Wednesday (:
-with parents, me and Cik Kinah, aunty.
So yess, i'll doa and solat istikharah di Mekah ye. (((:
Insyaallah, kalau yang baik, maka jadilah. Syukran ya Allah.

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Talked about these 2 guys eh, siaper dia?
Umm.. currently, the 2nd guy, today he did mentioned about kahwin..

For example, he said some stuffs, den i said "Baju yang ada sulam? Hmm.. ini nak kawin ke nak ape uh... ;) hahah"
So he replied:
Nak.kawin,ngn awak.la.
So i asked him, Really? Then i told him to solat istikharah dulu.. tanya Allah, kalau ada jawapan dtglah rumah ana.
So he said:
Betul. Tak sudi ke? Kita dah sampai jabal rahmah pun. hehe.
-Jabbal Rahmah is the place where Adam and Hawa met each other on Earth. Suhanaallah.
Awak rela ke?
Kita da vintage tau. haha

He said that.
SO i just said to istikharah and we moved to a different topic soon after that.
Well i dont know if he jokingly said that or is he for real.
But i do know that he's finding for a wife, since he onced indirectly did mentioned to me about it when we were talking (in the car).

Hmm how how how?
Both are good options.

I guess if one day i'll go with 2nd guy, its like...
Assalammualaikum.. 1st guy. Eventhough we're not together, but just to let you know Uhibbuka fillah, i do love you because of Allah. Yes i really do. :'(
Yes yes, cause ive always been telling my close frens about how im kinda cazily over him right, about his nice back and his fingers etc etc. So its like, hey, since im choosing this 2nd guy, i must abandoned that thoughts since its a nono 'right' now.
Imagine still seeing him while im with the 2nd guy (in the future if its gonna happen), i wonder what my thoughts would be when i see him? -_^

If it is true that Taqdir ku Adalah dengan 2nd guy, aku redha. (:
Yes yes.

Like what Allah tells us in the Quran: “…But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.” (2:216)

SubhanAllah.

I'll just wait and see later on, when insyaAllah i'll do my solat istikharah.
-& probably wait for a few more days for this 'Heat' to dies down and when the (our) thoughts became clear.
If its meant to be, it will be. -Ive always loves this phrase. (:

Talking about being a wife,
Well im trying to be a better person, a better muslimah. And in that case about being married, well yes i want to be a good wife to my 'future' husband. So i will try and i will accept him as he is.

And yes obviously i want a husband who will make me a better person, a better muslimah. One who will bring me to Jannah. One that we have a wonderful and lovely marriage, insyaAllah.

Wallah hu a'lam. :')

Ps: This 2nd guy, is someone new. One who've ive never mentioned before in any of my post. (:
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Just to let you know, Im joing Khat lesson. Arab calligraphy (:
I would say the words, the writings they are soo beautiful and magical. SubhanAllah.

And by the way, these two Akh - Taufiq & Fadhil, whom i love them both because of Allah (Ana uhibbuka fillah) was sitting right infront of me during the lesson. Masyaallah. Coincident much!?(: Hehehe.
-Honestly i was really excited/gugu-gaga when i found out we're 3 in the same class! hehehe!

But but! I do lower down my gaze when i met them! (: Alhamdulillah.

Goshh, just talking about these two person, somehow.. makes the 2nd guy invalid. :P
Nyeh nyeh nyeh. hehe.
But.. Yes, Qada' & Qadar Allah(:

Ya Allah, what you wills me, what you will of me which is good for me, maka ya Allah..
I want to accept it whole-heartedly. I hope my decision is right :')*cries.

11:59 PM Saturday, March 3, 2012 back to top?

• Ya ALLAH,
Jika lelaki itu terbaik bagiku, duniaku & akhiratku..
Maka kau kun fayakun kami dalam ikatan perkahwinan.

Ya ALLAH,
Sesungguhnya kau maha mendengar dan maha mengetahui.
Syukran Jazillan atas kesemua nikmat yang telah kau beri padaku.

Uhibbuka fillah, ku ingin mengatakan pada seseorang yang bakal jadi pendampingku.