11:59 PM Wednesday, October 27, 2010 back to top?

• See what i wrote down.

I dont know if i'll ever be in love (or again).
You know that feeling of falling deep, i keep on wondering if i will ever love someone so deep.
Maybe im scared of falling although part or me want to fall.
Maybe its that trust and communication which is all i ever wanted. Haha (:

Then a friend of mine said that, maybe after past experience, we starts to think that nobody would be the same as our ex's. Maybe i should try giving people a chance to love me. And if it fails, then i will learn something in the relationship...

Honestly, hmm.. Im thinking..
Well, i do think that it is true that NOBODY would be the same as our loved-ones. As in 'Hey, he's one and only'.
Yeaaa.. Maybe im trying to close my heart up. Because im scared (due to whatever reasons) :'( Thereby the slowly letting a chance for people to love me, sentence.
Of course i know, that i gotta take the plunge down, or else how will i see the effect? Those ripples i mean?

I know i know i know. I know all that, but why... :'(

See the picture i made using paint. It explains all... (:



1:36 AM Tuesday, October 19, 2010 back to top?

• Someone asked me, what kind of soulmate do you want to be with?
At that point of time i think... 'Im not sure. Someone who i can talk to easily?
Someone who can catch me from falling down? Someone......' -I tak tahu!

Ive always like the saying,
Kalau ditakdirkan dia yang terbaik untuk ku, maka dekatkanlah dia pada ku.

But ive found this one post, which tells all i want in another. (:

Dengan nama Allah Yang Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang..

Ya Allah….
Seandainya telah Engkau catatkan….
Dia milikku tercipta buatku….
Satukanlah hatinya dengan hatiku….
Titipkanlah kebahagiaan antara kami…
Agar kemesraan itu abadi….

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku yang Maha Mengasihi….
Seiringkanlah kami melayari hidup ini….
Ke tepian yang sejahtera dan abadi….
Maka jodohkanlah kami….

Tetapi ya Allah….
Seandainya telah Engkau takdirkan
Dia bukan milikku….
Bawalah dia jauh dari pandanganku….
Luputkanlah dia dari ingatanku….
Dan peliharalah aku dari kekecewaan…

Ya Allah ya Tuhanku yang Maha Mengerti….
Berikanlah aku kekuatan….
Menolak bayangannya jauh ke dada langit….
Hilang bersama senja yang merah….
Agarku sentiasa tenang….
Walaupun tanpa bersama dengannya…

Ya Allah yang tercinta…
Pasrahkanlah aku dengan takdirMu…
Sesungguhnya apa yang telah Engkau takdirkan….
Adalah yang terbaik untuk ku…
Sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Mengetahui….
Segala yang terbaik buat hamba-Mu ini….

Ya Allah…..
Cukuplah Engkau sahaja yang menjadi pemeliharaku….
Di dunia dan di akhirat….
Dengarlah rintihan dari hamba-Mu yang dhaif ini…
Janganlah Engkau biarkan aku sendirian….
Di dunia ini mahupun di akhirat…
Menjuruskan aku ke arah kemaksiatan dan kemungkaran….
Maka kurniakanlah aku seorang pasangan yang beriman….
Agar aku dan dia sama-sama dapat membina kesejahteraan hidup…
Ke jalan yang Engkau redhai….
Dan kurniakanlah padaku keturunan yang soleh dan solehah….

Ya Allah…..
Berilah kami kebahagiaan di dunia dan kebahagiaan di akhirat…
Dan peliharalah kami dari azab api neraka….
AMIN…AMIN…AMIN….
Ya rabbal ‘aalamin….

11:55 PM Sunday, October 17, 2010 back to top?

• Someone onced said, "Hati itu mesti jaga..".

But i think, Niat dan hati itu harus berjaga ketika melalui atau melakukan sesuatu (:
Yea.. I musnt lose sight of me, my reasons & my self. Hees. Insyaallah.

Im feeling very aww shucks, un-excited, dreading for tmr new semester.. :/
Im sorry, just feeling a lil bit scared of all the anticipitations to come. Hahs.

Come on, Fikir baik!
Sekolah itu salah satu daripada perbuatan ibadah. Mendapat ilmu dan mempelajarinya. Serta, Mendekati dengan Tuhan. Okok, tak mau complaint ya. (: I hope so.

------

Ive been thinking about the hearts lately. Haha.
About falling down. Im still finding that someone to catch me when i fall.*drops Heart down*


10:24 PM Wednesday, October 6, 2010 back to top?

• Alright, ive been thinking.
As each year goes by, i always see some improvements/achievement in life. Haha~

Certain things, i began to realise and notice, have come about. Hees.
Hmm and things which i do not have the chance to do it, ive did it. (:

This 2010, (ok i know, so early to say this), but!:

CGH sponsorship

- Accepted! (: Weeeess~~

Piano music lesson

- Apply already, just waiting for the lesson date&time. Gimme a few days to start going to lesson.

Driving center

- Enrolled the School TODAY! Need to do online learning and not be lazy :P. haha (;

Friends

- I know my true friends and my new-found friends.

Working life

- My pay got increase since july. Oklah, working life the usual up and down, lazy stuffs. haha.

One more wish: I wanna collect $1000 every month! Hehehe :3
$900 from the allowance, $100++ from work salary! :D
I wanna collect $3000 in 3 months baby! -Because dear, i wanna collect and buy a beautiful house in the future. A beautiful house and garden. Hehehe :D Just a dream, who knows! -You know i know.

Also, i wanna make it a habit, to give my parents a sum of money every month! InsyaAllah (:
-They say, if you derma duit, it will come rolling back to you a lot more than what you gives. I believe this is true. So yeahhh :P

Thank you, Ya Allah.

12:28 AM Monday, October 4, 2010 back to top?

• Why are you saying, 'She breaks my heart'? -if those lines were meant for me.
Arent you the one who did that in the first place?

Its scary. Scary to fall & plunge down ):
Because you may never know how things might gonna end up as.

On second thought, if youre scared and just leave the way things are and just dont fall, you'll just might never know whats gonna happen? Haha.

Hmmm either way, what i mean is You'll just might never know! Get it? haha.

12:21 AM Friday, October 1, 2010 back to top?

• You said goodbye. And left me alone.
I was heartbroken.

I wish we could have been more. Now, i dont know what to do or say.

& baby you said, to take care of myself and to find someone better.
So now what's left of me? All those words you said, were they really true?
Is this real?

Don't hang up, can't we talk
So confused it's like I'm lost
What went wrong, what made you go

When did we fall apart
Or did you lie from the start
When you said, it's only you
I was blind, such a fool
Thinking we were unbreakable