11:53 PM Tuesday, October 22, 2013 back to top?

• Ive never really  wrote so much about my work life right?

Well, the past few 2-3 months have been a wonderful stress-less moments, due to me being deployed in ward 19.
I miss my colleagues. Sadly, some of them went back to their own wards, others got deployed to ATA.
In my heart, I wanna go ATA with them.. :((

So now today, 22/10/2013, was my first day back in ward 44, with all those sad, lifeless, running and chasing around, and eventful moments happenings.
I dont know.... When i came in, those stares, and talks behind my back (secretly) i felt. I dont like it. It makes me feel as if im being looked down and frown upon, hence powerless.

Sometimes i kept on telling myself, 'No its not them theyre talking and laughing about', but still you know....

Today 'Little Lamb' (Cannot say he real name here-confidential), saw me.
Since the first time i entered, she already got a nickname for my name called "Mayuri".
Its not that Mayuri is not nice.. But its the way she said my name that hurts me.
Like today. "Wahh.. ehh asyu-ra.. oops mayuri come back already uh".
It felt so disrespectful to me. as if i was some thrash, who dont she bother to know/say my name. Then those around laughed.

You know, somehow i do felt her gossiping about me, saying im lazy and dont attend to patients etc.
Geez.. wth is her problem!?
If i can help i will help, you know? Its not as if im so heartless. But then... sometimes... How can i help if when i myself am struggling with my own work and problem...?

Haizz. Sometimes 'Little Lamb', got her own mood also. Some days she's nice to me, some days she brushes me away.

Okok, no more about her. Its not her that i feel that work (ACTUALLY) sucks.

Its the being in-charge and always being buried by casenotes, writing report etc. So while im seeing through the changes of the DR report, its the conversation with my patients which i lack.
In ward 19, it felt great, that actually im able to converse with my patients alot. But in 44 not so much, its more of i seeing the Vital sign, got fever, got pain got any impaired skin integrity like that. As well booking of appointments and doing changes etc.

Haizz... Maybe its just the ward. Or the colleague which im not so close with, unlike ward 19 colleague.

Honestly, between missing 44 and 19, i'd choose 19. -Which when im at 19, i totally dont miss 44. Hee.
My life was happy at 19.

My family and friends did ask me if i can transfer... But the thing is, if transfer... to where or which place is better for me? Which ward? Clinic? Different hospital?

Its ok Asyura. Sabar please.  May 2014, My 2 Years bond/contract will end.
I'll decide where i go.

------

Btw, i decided (Or at least if i dont change my mind), i wanna go study Degree in Nursing (Part Time)
Then part of me was like, why the heck am i still in nursing? Bahh... -.-"
Maybe just for the money only right? which is like $150 increase of my pay.

But well, there was once this taxi driver, who i once talked with.

He said, now you may think that do not need degree. And aiyaa.. $150 so little.
But then ah.. you dont know about the future. What if one day, you get married and have children or house, and maybe due to the household expenses, financially is not enough?
At least that bit of $150 extra -which you save, can help you abit rather than nothing.
Now also, everywhere you go, you got degree at least slightly high pay.. You dont want a slightly high pay is it?
Its like now the Degree trend, although we know lah.. some people even if have degree they still cant find job etc.

Yeah, i know i agree.

I calculate Edinburg uni in sg is: 7 modules, 16 Month, Each module is $1.7K. Total of $11900 for my module. At least slightly cheaper right...?

If Curtin Uni: 8 module (maybe can get 7 module), 16 month, Ever 2 modules a total of $4510. That'd mean its 8 module is $18040. Expensive lah.


Oklah, gtg. Bye bye.