2:59 AM Tuesday, April 21, 2009 back to top?

• So today (well actually yesterday-since now its Tuesday) was the start of school life, Polytechnic.
Supposingly meet at 10.30 with the classmates but then in the end, im the one who was the last one to come-late. Well, yea. Hmmph. -__-

Well, today was not bad. I only have 4 lessons if im not wrong, but, finish at 6pm.

But the thing that makes me uneasy and sad was...
I was left out when the second lesson ended-since me and classmates didnt go out together from the lecture room together. Thus the separation.
But then i managed to find my classmates back. So yeah.
There was a period of transition where i felt down, lonely and scared that history's gonna repeat itself-being left out, a loner.

Im really really scared of that! I hope i'll be able to do well and sail through this 3 years smoothly. Please God.

During the lecture lessons, i kept on thinking, "Why did i join nursing?".
That is really an intriguing and complicated question. There are many many reasons for it.

I guess, the most important reason was:
To find God and for Him to gives me blessing in this field,
To enable myself to be a more better person;
being Delicate but Confident,
Out-going, Bubbly and Supportive,
Responsible yet Wise,
Likeable as well as Loveable.
Besides wanting to interact with different kinds of peple and God, I want to find the strength in finding and creating my self and work on my uniqueness.
Being able to MORE sincere, having faith in God and people as well as to see miracles happen.
Another reason is due to someone who have inspired me. My Ustazah, from madrasah Masjid Kassim, Ustazah Salbiah. The thing about her is that her action and her words really left deep impression on me. She is a marriage counsellor who counsel marriage couple.
Her beliefs in helping others with the help of God taufiq dan hidayah is the one which attracts me most. Believing good things in god and doing the rightful ways; following the ways of the prophet budi pekerti.

So i guess thats the reason.
-Besides having and interest in helping others and due to O level result madness.

By the way, ive made a new step in my Poly life.
I "voluntereed" to be the class leader, when orientation time, on 27 April. Hehehehe.
Of course there were some strings which i pulled and some hidden motivation. LOLS.
It was because of that guy, Iqbal.
I tell him, you want to be leader or assistant leader? So, he wrote "Leader" besides my name of the class list and he put "A.Leader" beside his name.
Thus the hidden motivation, was of course, to get closer to him! Mwahahahahaha ;DD
I've been target lockdown certain people in my class during orientation time. Lols.

Also today, lecture, i sat beside Haziq, my classmate too. Heheheh :D

For Iqbal, the thing about him is that, its just 'not really' one-sided. I dont think he'd think of me than more then it. And probably he's not the type of standard to my liking. Hehs. Of course this is just "What if" and day-dreams!
Such a hot Bishies harem and stuffs.
Get what i mean? Lols ;DD

Hmm... I find that being leader, to me is a great step, for me.
For i hope that i'll be freed from the chain of the past.
Oh then Iqbal, today said to me, "You dont do everything by yourself. You have any problem come to me. I help you". Well, when he said that, somehow he sound like my brother-the way he speaks. =.=" LOLS.
I was 'awwww'-ed by his words. Since you know.. Guys! *roll eyes*

Hey, we were divided into sub groups. My class must have 4 groups.
Then i was put into my group. We were numbered!
ts not that they're not interesting, its just that i wish i could have been in a better group. Anyway, i dont wanna complain! I dont wanna feel as if i regret things. Sheesh.
I hope we could get along and find as well as think of interesting ideas for our project! (;

Ok. I hope that everything goes well for me. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!
Oyasumi,

-Oh heys,when i got back home, i manga'ed. Then around 9.30, i felt sleepy.
Due to tiredness and boringness. So i slept.
Then around 2.30 i woke up. So here i am using the laptop to blog. Hehs.

~`Luck!