1:00 AM Wednesday, October 3, 2007 back to top?

• Dear Diary,

There is this feeling which i felt that is bugging me.

Well.. I had a dream. Okiee, not really. Its just that when everytime i wanna sleep, i gotta think and make up a dream in order for me to sleep.-do you understand?? I think this is sort of like a made-up dream. Hees.

So this, a girl.. Feeling sad and emotional. Wanted someone to be there for me. Also wanting a sense if security from that someone, a prince.
She really wanna hug her prince very badly and to comfort her.
Eventhough she have her Mr.Prince..
She cant grasped him. No matter how hard she's trying to hold and hug him.. Her prince felt and was soo far away from her. *awww..*
Then there was someone. Someone who was there for her, just standing behind her back.
That someone who is called Mr.Knight.
With him, she felt so reachable and able to hold and hug him tight. And he would hold and hug her real tight, back too..
Its like she's the one whom she is looking for...
Sadly, this was just a fantasy. Mr.Knight and the girl.*
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Inside Asyura's mind, talking and arguing. ;;
Asyura #1 and Asyura #2.

#1: Ahh.. Asyura. You're so bad.
How could you think of that. It isnt right!
He have someone else. And you have someone else. DONT!

#2: I KNOW. My feelings screams, that he isnt there when i needed him. Though i know its not his fault. Its just that.. Somehow, me and him felt soo far away. And that Mr. Knight wouldnt be like that.

#1: How can you say that!! He is busy. You have to understand him. Its hard you know. He have to do well in his studies-as he gotta compete with those braniacs at school and sometimes its very emotionally tiring. His parent says that he dont need and should not be in a relationship right now. Should focus on his studies more. He's trying to balance everything.
Still, he did once mentioned that during the time you and him wasnt talking, 'the silence period' which i call it.. He DID told you that HE REALLY MISSES YOU REALLY MUCH!

#2: Yes yes. I know that. I know that his really really busy. And his schedule jammed pack-like i really believe it. You say he's trying?? Hahh.. He doesnt even have time for me. Alright FINE! I'll accept that he is very very busy. But somehow.. Couldnt he just msg?? Couldnt he just msg.. Even one msg he send me is ALRIGHT!. Let me repeat that : One message is ALRIGHT for me. Still not even one. Not even THREE WORDS like; I MISS YOU. Yup. Hmmph.

#1: Okiee okiee. Maybe he's super duper busy and really stress up. And somehow its not fair of you when you say that he IS NOT there for you. Your not the only one who needed him. He probabaly NEEDED you to be there for him too. It just that, like you.. He didnt tell you, like how you didnt tell him. Hmm..

#2: Hmm.. Yea.. I've though of that before.
I am being and trying to understand him. I know its not his fault. I am being understanding and patient with him, okiee? But sometimes.. Somehow.. It hurts a lot. Its like.. I feel that im the one who is missing him while he's just getting on his life without missing me..?
Today, I messaged him "I.M.U !! =/ -Figure it out..." to him.
Still there was not even one message from him since after we had that talk about 'the silence period'. Im feeling confuse. Its like im the one who is having that feeling of "I MISS YOU" towards him. While he? His feeling towards me? I dont know about him.. Maybe he does. Maybe he dont. Maybe he forgot about me.. I dont know...
Thats why, somehow i find that Mr. Knight would be there and reachable.
IM SORIEE.

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Useless.
Ahhh Shit! Stop creating fiction. Get back to reality. -.-
B-E-E-P.
Nites.