7:51 PM Sunday, December 30, 2007 back to top?

• Dear Diary,

Hmm nothing much happened today.
Had tuition today.

Well.. At least i didnt really disappoint him much more than last week, right? Hees.
Err.. I think so lah, should be.

Im still on chapter Differentiation. -.-
Ahh... Im becoming a bit bored with it already. Kind of, though.

And why we're still not moving on? Blame it on me.
Cause i couldnt do and didnt do the homeworks he gave.
Well err, the last week i actually didnt do it. While this week i did do it. Haha.
Improvement? Haha yea. (;
But i did leave some unfinished. Cause i dont know how to do it.
So on tuition time, we went through the hws. )):

Hehs. Waste time lah oi!
Blame it on me again.
Cause i always give up halfway when i couldnt get the answers right.
So had to go through it again
*sigh* ):

The weeeiiirddest part is,
When im doing my work alone, i cant seem to find the right answer.
And when he was there beside me, i found myself i could do it and that the question is soo easy
And i'll be.. Omgg. How come i dont know how to do this? Grr. Stupid!.

I told him about this. And why is it so..?
He replied, Because you dont try hard enough and that you always give up.

You see Asyura..
Your problem is.. Its your mentality/attitude.
Everytime you came across an obstacle you will, most of the time, give up!
Do you know that?
Hmm.. yea.. :/

Thinking bout that, makes me feel...
Ohh soo down and useless as well as helpless. Hmmph ):

Gahhh.. I really do need to pull my-self up together.

He says, This year.. I slack a lot. And that im not really interested in the subject.

Hmm.. I dont know..
Yupp.. I do find a difference between last year and this year performance of mine. Gahhh.
Maybe part of the reason was, i was too engrossed in that particular subject till i dont care about the others.
Another is, maybe because of I & F. As well as H?
If it is so.. OHH MY GODD... They're not the same league as me. So why? Jealous. Thats pretty stupid right? Hmmph. No im not jealous. Just feeling... Umm i dont know.
Maybe another reason is, ive lost the motivation to work hard. Probably failing in that Math EOY plays a part in it. Yes, it was shocking!
~`Need to pull myself up.
Hmm... I am confused. :/

Garrhhh. I need to buck up next year.
As promised for this new year, 2008.
I shall be a hardworking student!
Okiee?
A promise is a promise. (;

~`You messed up. And you know it. Dont pretend.

My heart feels heavy. Im not sure whyyy...

Got one part, which is todayy morning. MORNING! Around 1.30am today, Sunday.
I feel so sad.
Cause I couldnt bring myself to tell y-- the things that's saddening me.
For which one part of me will say.. Its nothing much. I'll get over it soon.
Then another part of me will contradict.. So whats the bloody use for this ?

Buhbye.