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8:24 PM Saturday, February 16, 2008 back to top?

92th post, lists.
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Dear diary,

Im craving for that Lg Viewty phone. Hoho.
TETAPI mungkin keinginanku itu tak akan tercapai. :/
fancy wish~ O.o

These past few days/weeks...
I realised some stuffs about me. Im kinda changing? Well sort of.

Anyway, here's the lowdown of the things.


  • im becoming sort of a bad student.-no im not rude. Just not doing my things well.
  • im usually or almost late for school. For which yesterday (friday) i have just served my detention for coming late to school twice.-Although i only serve detention for around 30 minutes instead of two hours, as i have A.Math extra lesson before. Though i had wish to serve my detention for 2 hours because in there somehow i can treat it as my study hour time. Hehs.
  • im starting to wake up later than usual for school. Instead of 6.30 i woke up, now around 6.40-6.45. And i usually get out of house around 7.06-7.10, now usually i get out of the house around 7.10.
  • i dont do my work. But in the end i did it in class in the eleventh hour before the subject lesson teacher came. And if theres some work i have to do at home, chores, i'd be lazy to do it. Wishing that someone would do it. But if there's no one who'd did, i would do it in the eleventh hour then.-So that means, dont say that i dont do my work. I did! Its just that, some other people did it before me. Hehhs.
  • Im always happy that subject teacher doesnt come to class. Sometimes i would wish that teacher wont come to school. Thereby taking advantage of the time for me to my own work. Lols.
  • im starting and liking the thought of spending my money on taxi fare to school. Usually i'll do this as a last resort. But now sometimes, i just dont have the bloody mood to take a bus.
  • im starting to splurge my money on food. These few days, i am always hungry. -I dont know why. Maybe because period coming or so. Or because, i have this kinda like habit or reaction.. Whereby when im stress i would eat a lot.
  • Im always tired and feel so burden sometimes. -And when i feel that, after i reached home, i would go to sleep. Sometimes i would wish to never wake up from sleep- i dont mean dying stupid! -.-
  • im starting to accidentally skip praying. -As in i would be terlewat waktu untuk sembahyang.
  • im starting to have this mentality of "Fcuk you, life!" or "Stupid life" or "Say WHATEVER to what shit i come across in life!"-Yea.. Somehow thats my motto.
  • i always wanted to go to library after school to study. But most of the time when that day and time comes, i decided not to. -Reason is because im too tired to go or do it whereby my eyes is too drowzy. Or/and another reason is because that means i'll be skipping my prayers. -Understand?
  • I know and realised that unless i dont change my way and my thoughts, one day i would go hanyut. Which i dont want that to happen.
  • I cant find myself to be sleeping comfortably.-Sometimes this body of mine doesnt let me go to sleep. And somtimes this mind of me either dreamt or makes up dreams which are bloody.. umm what should i say.. Stupid?
  • Im starting to think that im fading and drifting away from a certain bestfriend.-or which sometimes i find that i dont really care for her much. Awwww... No i dont want her to leave.
  • Whenever i reach home, there is always some things which either my parents usually my mum are not satisfied with me. And mostly or should i say these past few weeks/days i would be listening to her scoldings, mencela and kinda tad beating. -And i would find this as all the more bringing down my morale.
  • And sometimes, im starting to contradict God. Im sorry okiee. Cause sometimes, i would think of some stuffs. Im wondering so whats the purpose of me being in this world etc. Why is it like this?Anyway, IGNORE THIS. I dont want to menduakan Allah. I know that Allah is real and that Dialah yang create manusia. Its just that i dont get it.
  • These past few days/weeks been very busy. Homeworks are piling up. Theres some thoughts that are troubling my mind. Whereby, im feeling kinda shitty and restless about it. -But ohhh what the heck! I'll just have to endure it.

    Hmmm...
    Alright fine. I stop here!

    Good byee.

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