11:25 PM Saturday, January 24, 2009 back to top?

• When I have lotsa money..

I wanna indulge myself in going to the spa! Haha yea..
I wanna revitalize my self. Lols :D

Then I wanna buy lotsa pretty clothes and the best-est cosmetic.

I also wanna have a change of hairstyle!

Besides money..
I wanna change my self as well as my life!

For my self, it means I wanna be that person, the one of the girls/women I looked up upon.
I wanna be that sweet, fragile but strong person and a confident charismatic personality.
As well as someone who is well-like by people -in a good way!

Hehe :D

------
Do you know something?

Im not as upset as before. Really really really.
I know that ive once said that im not upset/miserable as 'that' day, it just means that it's an improvement ever since that day.

Well, after the O level result, i was kinda a bit depressed and disappointed.
Especially-sorry to say this- with GOD! And with myself too.
I mean, really, i was kinda disappointed and sad with God.

Cause everyday i pray, i always ask for the same thing which is a good result for O level.
But in the end.. it was like barely there.
And probably maybe god thinks thats that IS a good result for me.
And it reminded me of my O level Malay, the same thing.
So yea... I kinda lost my faith, you know.

And i wondered, 'what the heck is this? a test from god? am i supposed to take things into perspective and say that god is actually nice and that there is more to it than meets the eye? Such as probably there is something better for me out there, somewhere. And is this takdir? Then what the hell is Qada' and Qadar use for?' etc thoughts.

And thank God on the next night which is on a Tuesday 13 Jan, i had my period.
Cause probably, if i hadnt.. Probably i would just pray as if its nothing/meaningless/numb while rejecting what God did to me. Hehs.
On Tuesday, i went to Bedok Library after going to NYP to see and talk about the nursing course with the lecture Miss Aisyah. I borrowed a book by Benazir Bhutto :Reconciliation. It was quite an eye opener. Faith, verse from Quran are there too.

Then there was the trying to renew my faith in God. Thats the reason why i wanted to see Ustazah SALBIAH on the 18 Jan, Sunday. Cause to me she's one of the elders i respect and looked up to. I like her positive comment/interpretation/teaching.. It made me feel so umm ALIVE! Like thinking i can do it, being open minded and thinking that God is great and stuffs-Unlike my new madrasah teachers! -.-
But seeing her just didnt happen cause things came up and stuffs.

Oh! On 14 Jan. Went to Annisaa's house to submit my online form to NIE.
Went TM. She bought the same perfume/body mist as i have. Haha. Glad she likes it. Lols. (:

In the nights, or when my dad 'preach/lecture/scold' me. I get very sad.
And tears just streams out of my eyes. Besides dad, thinking of my results makes me feel so frustrated hence the crying. Hmm...
*The crying... is the one that i post on my previous post. About what i think in the night. Hehs.

The choices i made which was to either go to Nursing or Teaching. Finally! I had a peace of mind in deciding my choices, during the night thinking bout stuffs. I ended up thinking that i should pursue Nursing.

It was on a Thursday afternoon, 15 Jan, -while out with Zunairah and Herani to Expo- I recieved a call from my Tuition teacher, Mr Arul.
I told him about my results, my choices, what he thinks and what should i do.
Then talking to him.. It makes me feel very glad that Mr Arul was there for me and support me.
He told me about teaching and careers. And that nursing is a good step in job prospect.
Besides that, he says "I can see you in nursing.. Like caring and stuffs", which makes me happy and thankful. (:

While talking, as usual.. a crybaby like me.. Tears streams down my cheaks. Hees.
Talking to him, he says that i should retake English as well as E.Math. As English is very important and is use for future promotion.
Whereas E.Math, he says at least get a Distinction! And that i receive a B3 in A.Math. Therefore i have the potential to at least obtain a distinction in E.Math. So yea.
Thank you for the ENCOURAGING WORDS! (:

What he says about my result?
He said that its actually quite good. Just one step away from a Distinction! So yea...
Thank you once again.

Well on 21 Jan, I went to National Library, Bugis.
Did English Compre and E.Math.
Was wondering.. Do i really dont need to have any teacher to teach me! Haha.
Like what i says, PRIVATE CANDIDATE! Hmm...
I'll try my best though. And give my best shot in retaking O Level ENGLISH & E.MATH !
Gambatte Asyura! (:

Then the most MIRACULOUSLY thing happen to me.
There was a Famous Amos Cookie Shop in Bugis Junction, the mall.
I went inside and inquire about the job vacancy.
I want to work in FAMOUS AMOS shop! The girl gave me the form and i filled it up.
The girl was nice! She says one of the stuffs recently quit, so there's a job vacancy.
And Wohoo!.. I hope we'll work closely, cooperative and nicely one day. Hehe ;D
In my heart i knew and hope i'll get the job. ^^

Went home then.
Probably feeling satisfied. As if, it not so painful as before. (:

Then the next day on 22 January!
I recieved a call that i was ACCEPTED to WORK in FAMOUS AMOS COOKIES SHOP!
WWWEEEEEEESSSSSS~~~~~~~!
Was really happy and thanked God! (:
*Ever since young, i've always wanted to work in Famous Amos. So its realy a dream come true! ;DD

I'll start work on 2nd FEBRUARY 2009! (:
I shall/wanted to work as full time before Poly starts and after Poly starts i'll probably work as part-time.
Hoooray!!~~ FOR ME. I feel very independent! :DDDD
The person will call me again this coming week. To finalize the stuffs.

After that, i called Nadiah and told her about the Good news. Hehe.
Then we talk some stuffs on the phone for about 1hr 55min. Haha ;D

And thats how i wasnt depressed anymore.
Once again. Thank you, God and the people around me who supports me! (: