11:41 PM Monday, January 12, 2009 back to top?

• My head spins! A headache.
My heart is cracked but it is still intact.

I can say that im lucky.
Even though there's a part of me which feels like cursing and swearing to the Big guy..
But its ok.

Let me still believe in miracle, faith and hope. Hees.

Haha! I wanna laugh out loud. But there's nothing to laugh.

Lets be optimistic.
I don't wanna beat myself up anymore.
I was upset earlier. But im feeling better now.

-------

That crap fat*** is shooting down my hope of being a Malay Teacher in NIE.
Saying that if i go to NIE my salary is small as compared to going to Poly having a diploma.
FUCK OFF!!
I wont let it affect my mood. *putting up a smile*

I'll probably enter either NURSING or TEACHER! ;D
hees~

------

So the result:

ENGLISH : D7
H.MALAY : B4
MATHEMATICS : B3
ADDITIONAL MATHEMATICS: B3
SCIENCE(PHY/CHEM) : B3
MALAY : B3
PURE GEOG : B3
COMBINED HUMANITIES : B3

HOPE IS NOT LOST! (:

-------

Ok f***k mum too
-just now.
d*d-"jangan jadi macam Bush tau.. sombong...."
FUCK.its not that i dont like youre lecturing.
How things cock up:
I told mum , that i wanna go to nursing.
then she says nursing kena clean up taik Apek orang. Boleh tak..
Then some other stuffs she says plus some bad things about nursing which i dont wanna hear the bad news.
Then i said, "okok.. dah dah. I am very interested dalam nursing".
Then she says i sombong.
Actually im not that sombong. because i just dont wanna listen to those bad points she says.
For me, if i like it, i like it. Full stop. Dont shoot hopes/passion/nterest down. You'll make me feel even more miserable.

So yea. I'll stop my angry-ness. Tears are flowing down too right now. But i'll make it stop.

Dad : "Tengok eh.. Ini akibat nak challenge mak bapak. Tengok abang... Nasib baik diri baik.. Asyura jangan bangga diri.. Belum lagi apply boleh masuk... Pasal Allah selalu side Mak Bapak kita. Kita hantar sekolah.. Kasi makan minum.."
-this is what he really says! *no editting!

------

How i felt when i got my result.
I wasnt scared.
I got it. Didnt look at the result. But Ms Shawa got looked at me one kind. Should have noticed it. HAHA!
See the paper.
Saw the down subject B3.
Then saw Eng D7.
Feels nothing much...
Bam! It hit me... "ohh a Seven..", "Is that a pass?", "Oh its not a pass.. Its a fail", "Wait....!", "English D7..? It means i cant enter poly or jc??", "FUCK!".. *STARTS CRYING.*

Stayed and chat with Quek for a bit. He failed Eng D7.
He's the first person i found out about getting D7. Then i said "EH!! REALLY??" *LAUGH WHOLEHEARTEDLY*, yup. Cause was glad that im not feeling the only one shit. But Quek result was good.

On the way back home, actually didnt wanna go home. Walk a long way to bus stop.
Nadiah says that i can replace my HMT with English. Was feeling very HAPPY!. Until it dawns on me when i reach Cik Atan's house that i cant get into JC and replace my HML because i Failed my Eng. So once again, Fuck. But at that time at rumah Cik Atan(which i decided not to go home) i was feeling cooled and calm about it. Since i still can go POLY, so i am contented with it and not feeling miserable.

Ok So yea!

******* INTERESTING PART was:
In the hall after staying there and chatting with a few,
I wanna go off already. Then i say to MR EDWIN CHO "BYE MR CHO!".
Mr Cho is my sec 1 Science teacher. I have a really HUGEEE crush on him! HEHEHE :D

He wanted to know my result so i told him-he says "Huh?"- then he wanna see my result-cause he doesnt believe it-
I showed him. Then he says "WOWW! This is a crap way of dying..." -.- *i think so too. HAHA!
Then i got emotionally and started crying again cause thinking of the damn result.
Tear were streaming down my cheeks. He says "Dont cry, dont cry.. You have to move forward". Then he pat my head/hair a few times.
I was still crying. Then i told him "Thank you for being my science teacher in sec 1....." and something about him being the bestest and loving his lesson cause it was fun.
Then he says "AWWW..." Then he cup my face. *AWWWW!!! SWEEET!!!! :DDDDD
*then looking back, I WISH I COULD HAVE THOUGHT OF HUGGING HIM! Mwahahahaha ;DD

------

Ok so, went to rumah Cik Atan house. He help me decide.
Then went out eat SWENSEN! Finally i had my Chocolate Crunch ice cream. :D
Then i tolD him "Is that all youre gonna buy for me?" Haha! ;D
Then he says if i wanna buy anything or not.
Then i told im "I want this thing at BodyShop can? It cost about $20." HEES~
So then i bought this BodyShop perfume which ive been eyeing for quite sometime.. Actually its a body mist but its the same thing, at $19.90 !
I also receive a $20 from him.
Mwahaha :D

Thank you Cik Atan.

He also says if i got into NIE, he can help me through..
As in coach.. Like putting his name in the interview and saying i am passionate about joining it. Eventhough my malay is B3 but is still took up H.Malay. And my H.Malay is a B4 which i only took when i was sec 3!
So hell yea! :DD
------

Mr Cho and Cik Atan made my day bright today. So thank you for that.