5:43 AM Sunday, December 26, 2010 back to top?

• So i told Juli, on Chrismas Day, 25december today.. that i wanna quit FA.
Then she asked.. work for her lagi lah till Chinese new year, in February 2011.
& i replied, "I'll think about it...".

There's always the i want something, but i just dont know when can i get it.

Let's see...
I probably can cope with school and work - Insyaallah.
I think ive been pretty greedy for money? :( Like being crazy working, eventhough i got my allowance every month. Hmm..

& there's one more thing, which have been on my mind.
-What about him? Z-carebear?

If i quit, i wonder what's gonna happen between us.
We wont be able to walk home anymore, unless i take time and effort to meet up with him and so on.
We're still status 'Just Friends', although a 'Lover' somewhat.
There wont be anymore holding hands and getting kissed, which i like but will be missed-although i know its a NONO good thing. Hehhs.
Well you know.. The feeling of actually being loved by somebody.

Ive always been wondering, if he is the right one.
Well.. He is pretty sweet and nice and all those stuffs! (:
But probably i just want MORE in this what-you-call-it Relationship/friendship we're having.
I'm sorry... If im being such a fickle-minded person or whatever, but its just that, if i were to have a boyfriend, i would like to have someone who is a listening ear and the "I'll be there for you, if you need me, baby" that kind of person.
Someone who i can depend and count on!

Ive always been having trouble with finding that someone who i can depend on.
The day before, i broke down and cried for God knows stupid reason.. So while i was walking back home, i scrolled down my phone contacts since i need somebody to talk to but....
But no one was able to answer my calls, or in fact if they answer, what the hell am I gonna tell them?
No one was there.

But hey you know... one miracle thing happened. Z-carebear finally called me back for god knows how manyy times Ive tried calling him already. It was upsetting at first, since he didn't pick up my calls-the "i thought I could depend on you but you aren't the one", but I cooled down once I talk and listen to his voice. So yeahh I'm glad. -although I didn't actually tell him almost everything but its ok. (: heees.

Oh well. There might be something real between us two.. - WHO KNEW?