12:53 AM Monday, February 21, 2011 back to top?

• A few things happened to me today.
I thank Allah for making my day, and for letting me open my eyes to see all the lovely things which was instored.

Went Madrasah. Banquet with Annisaa & Aqilah after school. Went Esplanade library alone to study.

Yes, went Esplanade Library alone. Haha. Studied Bio there.
& along the way, I MISSED HIM. Yes, crazy but truly.

@630pm So i text him:
"Can i meet you after work? I miss you :( I'm outside now studying.."

But no replies. Well i expect that, since his workplace dont allow phone.

@710pm i text Nadiah
"I finished studying. Just need to memorize some stuffs.
The thing is I was wishing i could meet that guy.. So yeahh.. Library closed at 9pm, and after that maybe i slacked around a bit... till 10 he finished work.
And umm... yea. I wanna wait? But maybe I'm stupid. Haha"

She replied: Hahas. Nvm luh.. Then you memorize what you need to do while waiting :)

Me: Hehehe awww. You're so sweet thanks! ((:
She: Whatt.. Haha.. I nvr do anything nice to you also.

*Haha. Because the way she replied me was very sweet of her. Really i appreciate that support. Hehe(:

My phone was low battery.

I text Nadiah.
@930pm: "Nad.. Now im in msq. Hp batt low :( no msges. I scared my phone died on me."

@933pm:"I need to decide if its worth the wait or not."

@937pm: "Should i make the most craaziest attempt in just going to his workplace? ION. I dun noe abt his reaction wad will be? Haahs. Though i scared my 'flight' will troubles him. Mmm".

I hurriedly went off! BECAUSE I REALLY REALLY NEED TO SEE HIM TODAY!
A cry of outburst emotions!

955+pm My Hp batt died on me. -.-

When i reached ION it was 10pm. I searched for the shop.
In my heart i was praying and wondering, "Dear god, Am i late again?". I was just scared! I dont know why.
But thankfully, he was still there in the shop doing 'house cleaning'. I waited.

When his shop's lights have closed off, i was on the opposite side of his shop. I was standing there. I saw Him. But i dont know if he saw me. I was hoping he'd saw me.
& then we met. ((: Finally.

We talked a lil bit on the way. He smoked for awhile, we were separated. After he finished he came to me. Then we started talking... He said his friend will be coming and joining with us. I said I dont mind. So we waited.
I like those moments when we waited for his friend(s). You noe right? That moment when time feels as if it was standing still as if its just the two of us only, where time at that point in time is precious.

Our conversation talked about the text i msged him. As in it was 630pm i text him.
And he read it at 1030pm.
I asked him, "Do you think i would wait for you?"
(Because you know at a certain point in time i was debating should i shuld i not? .. WHATS with the hp low batt, tmr exam and meeting him issue).

He replied, "Hmmm 60 percent you'd come and meet me."
Me disbelieving me: What really? (3 times he answered the qn)
He: Yeaa.. 60% to 40%. (-.- haha).

What got me disbelieving was, the Time i text him and the Time meeting him. Because he didnt reply my msg.. So being me very difficult, sometimes i would change my mind.
But he believed that i will come and meet him. Wow.


His phone rang. He talked to his friend.
I heard a lil bit of their conversation.. something like..Tudung.. Girl.. (yg aku bilang) with me.... Its ok...
When he said that I was with him.. I was wondering how he will describe me to his friend. Honestly, it was hmmm... I was a bit... But nvm.

Then his friend came. And his friend brought his cousin along with too. I didnt know that. Z stood up and went to his friends, then i stood up and slowly walked a few distance behind him. In the end, another girl friend of his friend was being meet up.
All of us actually we didnt introduce ourself (Maybe at that point in time we/they felt whats the need?). But its ok.

I saw a different side of Z with his friends. Him laughing, joking and teasing. It was amusing. They talked and laughed. I smiled and laughed a bit too.
Somehow I felt lonely. Im sad to admit that.
They seemed close. I was wondering... These people, theyre different than that of the friends i usually hang out with. Really different. As in my social environment, ive never met or socialised with people like them. Because i felt awkward with them.

I was sitting beside the girl. Then all of them started smoking. I wasnt suffocated with the smoke as the wind blew it onto a different direction. I dont mind them smoking, as i know its a natural thing for them.. Its not that i hate smokers or what lah. Hmm.. I wasnt suffocated with the smoke as the wind blew it onto a different direction.

I looked at Z, looking at his friends smoked, he too smoked.
I was kinda dumbfounded. Our eyes met. & he didnt go towards me when he was smoking, I respect that, him.

They finished, and its time to go towards the Train station. We walked.
I walked towards Z on his left, the tall guy on his right. The other two behind us.
I felt glad that i was beside Z and he was talking to me, if not i felt yea.. that feeling -being ignored. Haha.

We tooked the train. Stopped at Raffles Place.
Z was scared that maybe my train would have gone away already, but it was not.

As we alighted at Raffles Place, All of them were going towards Joo Koon, and i was the only one going towards East.

It was surprisingly, that Z sent me up towards my platform. Because i dont mind if i went there alone.
He said to his friends to wait for him.

We reached towards my train platformed. He was standing there..
I dont wanna made him wait.. & it ok if wait for the train alone.

So I said, "Its oklah.. You can go now.. Dont need to wait for me."
He said ok, we were face to face. & I was waiting for him to walk off.
At that moment in time, i knew why he was standing there!
I turned my face to the left, and he kissed me on the right cheek. (: Aww.. Thank you.
And then he walked off.

After the kiss and after he went away... I had this huge amount of feelings built up.
I felt butterflies in my stomach, I was happy, even surprised!
But at the same time, my heart ache. Sadness rushed over me. For some reasons which i could not explain well.
WHY?

Maybe i really didnt expect that kiss.
I didnt know if he'd give me that kiss again.
I thought that those feelings i have for him, or his feelings for me would have gone for good!
But I was wrong.
I thought i could just let him go.
But i was wrong.
Maybe it was because... I was wondering about Leaving him.
So that was why my heart ache. How could i be cruel to even do that!? I DONT KNOW...

Feelings and expressions.
I wonder what about him? Does he too fell the same way as i do?